Snarkastic

we need you, hivemined

Because I could've called my shot and told you the three people most likely to take this post in PRECISELY THE MOST INCORRECT MANNER and would've one three for three, and there is nobody to share my eyerolls. :(

I do not want to fight you

Sometimes I want to kick Sharp in the shins when he covers guys like Cam Newton, which is how you can tell he's a really really really good writer. I had an equally strong reaction to his Peyton piece, only in the opposite direction:

But if these next few weeks are the end of Peyton Manning, the way it's happened is hard to ignore. Millions of hours of film study weren't enough to stop this. Neither was the psychotic work ethic, the superhuman gifts, or the legend that's defined him for a decade. He could scare the NFL with gibberish, but he can't say a thing to change what comes next.

ask me about the time I saw a guy using a yoga mat as carryon luggage

It's like Alexander Pope's 'Rape of the Lock.' I was standing in line at Whole Foods, and the guy in front of me says, 'I really wish you guys sold locally made fresh pasta.' And the cashier says, 'Look, we do.' And the guy says, 'No, no -- that's from Seattle.'

You say "ew, orphaned short-tailed fruit bat," I say "BAWWWWWWW"

zomg, y'all, we would've haaaaaated Mitt Romney back in the day

The future governor abstained from things many other students were doing: drinking coffee or alcohol, swearing, smoking. (Sometimes he made little coughing noises around smokers, Mr. Brownstein remembered, politely letting them know he disapproved.)

I deeply regret that Bernie Sanders Air Quotes never became A Thing

"without"

Gene Schuyler, No. 1 Fan

All I need you guys to remember before perusing this is that I have never worked for the Sporting News, and that I have no idea what appeared on that site to set this guy off. What we THINK happened is that this guy saw something on SN he didn't like, and saw my name in a sidebar thanks to our content-sharing agreement, and clicked, but if he hadn't, Gene Schuyler and I never would've met! What a treasure:

Continue reading "Gene Schuyler, No. 1 Fan"

Posted by Nastinchka at 08:32 PM | Comments (0)

Champ: Doing beds wrong since 2008

things that are signs

that doesn't have rabies

[via Ebie]

Never ever ever been a fan of fur or animal-print anything, but Miz Naincy has one of these in the den now, and hand to Sutekh it's like being hugged by a giant brown squirrel that doesn't want to bite your face off.

that is two straight entries with the eff word in them, so enjoy this XTREME CAT LITTER:

what a difference a year makes

Miss u, patent-leather high tops Subprime Stripper used to leave at the bottom of the stairs while he was squeakily fucking my roommate.

This is the closest WTFIMSMS to my real job, I think

are laminating machines expensive?

inappropriate january

Amid an early tornado season, some shots I took of Doug's mom's roses this past summer.

The new Canon is waaaay too happy on the reds. Need to work on that.

I don't think I can be Facebook friends with El Orfanato anymore

[sigh] my people

Laff Riot 155: The dregs of salvation

It etches little lines of sadness on the black pit where my heart should be that we don't have time for these anymore:

Of course, they did in a roundabout way get us gainfully employed in the first place.

growed. ass. men.

When I turned 25 for the fifth time (all the in-between numbers are not old, but they are boring), Doug asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, and I said "Go gambling on a riverboat," and he said, "It's January," and I said, "But I want to go gambling on a riverboat," and bless his heart, he found one, in Vicksburg, and off we went. We were particularly drawn by this:

I'll be impossibly grown-up in just over six hours, and I miss the city, so this year we're going up to Atlanta and the aquarium and my favorite hotel and my favorite restaurant with my favorite people, and if that sounds like a disappointingly low-key 30th for such a loud-ass soul, may I remind you what we Ridgebirthed January babies got up to on our collective birthday (observed):

Nothing says "friends forever" like a laser show in a wood-paneled basement. Nothing.

yo dawg

I would like to run this on my iPad on a loop and place the iPad in the fireplace grate of our actual albeit non-working fireplace. I am unbearable, yes?

lley lleydy lley

I don't exactly miss the 7 a.m. deadlines, but I do miss covering the Aussie, if only for the ridiculous photo ops.

shoe blogger is the weirdest job, right? more than knitting blogger?

this felt good

WELL I NEVER

Libertarians <3 Target

the job's the job

I found this in my "work photos" file, and don't remember the context at all, but does it perhaps ... stand on its own? Eh? Eh?