Snarkastic

Laff Riot 6: Laffback

The One With All The Asterisks, and Preening:

There but for the grace of God...
nicodemus055 (17:46:20): Roo?
Auto response from Nastinchka (17:46:20): "See him once, and he catches your eye. See him again, and he puts your eye in a cage, gives it a name, and keeps it as a pet." (FT)
Nastinchka (17:46:28): Hey.
nicodemus055 (17:46:30): I adore you.
Nastinchka (17:46:43): NICK? WHERE ARE YOU?
nicodemus055 (17:46:39): (or more specifically your away message)
Nastinchka (17:46:49): Oh, thank God.

nicodemus055 (17:46:45): Lol
LiviaHarlowe (15:25:37): if you come to the concert i want you to sit in the front row so i can see your face as i struggle to maintain composure while the alto bitches around me fail miserably to maintain rhythm. they really suck.
LiviaHarlowe (15:26:11): its shameful.
Nastinchka (15:26:24): I would imagine so.
LiviaHarlowe (15:26:50): i am embarrased by the fact that i have to participate in this. they really make me look bad.
Nastinchka (15:26:59): What do you have to wear?
Nastinchka (15:27:08): Please say it involves A Vest.
Nastinchka (15:27:17): Or A Petticoat.
LiviaHarlowe (15:28:30): No, a hideous shapeless black frock that resembles what a decomposed body left in the sun might look like.
Nastinchka (15:28:39): OOOOH!!! Suppose I liven things up a bit?
Nastinchka (15:28:46): I could capture a live peacock
Nastinchka (15:28:50): And let it loose in the wings
Nastinchka (15:28:56): And it would just wander out on stage
Nastinchka (15:29:09): WOuldn't that make things better?
LiviaHarlowe (15:30:24): Undoubtedly

Nastinchka (00:51:01): Naptime. Don't let Mommy and Spawn destroy the whole of creation if you can help it.
ShiftyEyedGuy (00:51:24): um, how could i stop one of them, let alone both?
Nastinchka (00:51:43): ....bat your eyes?
ShiftyEyedGuy (00:51:59): lol
Nastinchka (00:52:01): LIKE A BAT.
ShiftyEyedGuy (00:52:07): LOL
Nastinchka (00:52:17): * bat noise*
ShiftyEyedGuy (00:52:40): awesome

jangel139 (00:43:41): Holly, I just subjugated an entire nation. LOVE ME.

Just like my filthy Muggle father:
KeiranOHara (8:24:28 PM): you'll never be my real mom
AIMLESSMAC (8:24:43 PM): the hell i will

nicodemus055 (05:51:52): Sigh. I'm thinking of days when we'd smile and pretend to be his friend while plotting against him behind his back.
nicodemus055 (05:52:06): I've been reading Machiavelli again. Does it show?
Nastinchka (05:52:13): Li'l bit. Hottt.

LiviaHarlowe (22:30:21): And now, for something totally different:
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:23): ROOOO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:24): ROO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:24): RO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:26): ROOO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:26): ROOO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:27): ROO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:28): ROOOOOOO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:29): ROOOO
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:34): (xor)
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:39): IM PEACHES
LiviaHarlowe (22:31:12): Well, I've exhausted myself. Compliments on your prettiness. Wishes for a good evening.

ShiftyEyedGuy (01:12:54): and by the lake, i mean lake louden
ShiftyEyedGuy (01:13:15): or the tennessee river... whatever the fuck that thing is

jangel139 (16:36:57): Update: my SAT II scores are in.
jangel139 (16:37:08): I'm Joy Fucking ARoocangeli, Destroyer of Worlds and Multiple Choice Tests.
Nastinchka (16:37:40): :-* That's my girl.

ImYourBasicHero (18:45:11): whas shakin?
Nastinchka (18:45:31): Playing over here: http://www.googlewar.com/ This is our new toy.
Nastinchka (18:46:08): Also, "pussy" beats "great white shark". Who knew?
ImYourBasicHero (18:47:10): i see john and casey on there
Nastinchka (18:47:25): THat was Joan.
ImYourBasicHero (18:47:29): lol

nicodemus055 (01:58:28): Are you drinking at home?.
Nastinchka (01:58:43): Yeah. Mom doesn't care. It's sort of funny. (It's hilarious.)

Names withheld to hamstring the overreactive:
Nastinchka (17:58:43): So ____'s "girlfriend" apparently read the Snark where you and I slam _____ and _____, and he IMs me at like four in the morning to see who it's about.
LiviaHarlowe (17:59:05): Yes, ____. You're right. It IS all about you.
Nastinchka (17:59:17): It was funny the way he phrased it...
Nastinchka (17:59:22): "Is that about me or Jesse?"
Nastinchka (17:59:44): Because it's not about either of them, but it's funny that he just takes as natural law that the two of us would never, ever go on a wild tear against anyone outside his sphere of control.
LiviaHarlowe (17:59:55): Shut up, ____.

ShiftyEyedGuy (17:38:31): yeah. the fax mackine was fucked up, so the guy called a couple times telling me the dayend close didn't go through, but other than that it was fine
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:38:40): *or machine
Nastinchka (17:38:42): Hott. I hate the new fax.
Nastinchka (17:39:01): Fax mackine sounds like an action hero.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:39:13): it DOES
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:39:53): I'M....... FAX MACKINE!!!!!!! *super hero theme song*
Nastinchka (17:40:07): *pet pet*
Nastinchka (17:40:16): Yes, dear.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:40:51): oddly enough, my super hero theme song sounds an awful lot like "I'm a little tea pot"
Nastinchka (17:40:59): .....
Nastinchka (17:41:12): I.....I....i got nothing.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:41:24): just let it be
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:41:31): it will die of natural causes
Nastinchka (17:41:26): Oh, I"LL tip you over.
Nastinchka (17:41:27): There.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:41:37): lol....LOL
Nastinchka (17:41:46): *dusts off hands* done and done.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:42:07): i thought a short and stout joke was forthcoming
Nastinchka (17:42:11): Though you do go on quite a bit about your handle and spout to anyone who'll listen.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:42:18): LOL
Nastinchka (17:42:24): *steamed up joke*
Nastinchka (17:42:31): I think that about covers it.
Nastinchka (17:42:35): .....*tea cozy joke*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:42:39): lol
Nastinchka (17:42:43): Ok, for real, done.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:43:01): there are so many combinations....*faints*
Nastinchka (17:43:11): *fans with palm frond*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:43:33): *revives*
Nastinchka (17:43:55): *fetches grapes and lesbians*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:44:12): *....lesbians?*
Nastinchka (17:44:28): *to feed you the grapes*
Nastinchka (17:44:33): *I'm busy*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:44:34): ahhhh
Nastinchka (17:44:42): *with your father*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:44:58): *bumps into walls*
Nastinchka (17:45:04): *preens*
Nastinchka (17:45:12): *not unlike A Peacock*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:45:46): *waves arms erratically*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:45:54): *not unlike a hummingbird*
Nastinchka (17:47:14): *not that you do anything unlike a hummingbird*
Nastinchka (17:47:38): *including frolicking in birdbaths*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:47:51): hey, it was just those three times
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:48:04): and it's not like it's a crime
Nastinchka (17:48:08): Beating your wings at twice the speed of sound will not save you.
Nastinchka (17:48:16): yeah, but do you have to wear the wings?
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:48:16): or, a serious crime anyway
Nastinchka (17:48:23): I was gonna say.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:48:54): at most it's a misdemeanor
Nastinchka (17:49:05): You're a misdemeanor.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:49:10): lol
Nastinchka (17:49:15): Yeah, I got nothing
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:49:49): improper use of aviary hygenic facilities
Nastinchka (17:50:47): ....still nothing. Damn.
Nastinchka (17:51:20): I am, as they say down Louisiana way, All Outta Funny.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:51:41): recharge your humor batteries
Nastinchka (17:52:09): Yeah, I need to go plug myself in....
Nastinchka (17:52:14): ....EW.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:52:15): WOW
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:52:27): i'm blind, pregnant and DEAD
Nastinchka (17:52:40): Don't say that like it's new, or unpleasant.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:53:09): well, i will get to have the zombie baby i've always wanted
Nastinchka (17:53:36): You look JUST LIKE that Russian chick, have I ever told you that?
Nastinchka (17:53:44): *cowers*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:53:53): *looks in mirror*
Nastinchka (17:53:59): *preens*
Nastinchka (17:54:20): ShiftyEyedGuy (17:53:53): *checks left, right, nods in self-satisfied manner*
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:55:00): LOL

The day Joy came onboard for the show:
Nastinchka (13:41:48): Oh, Fayrene.
Nastinchka (13:41:53): Best name EVER.
jangel139 (13:42:03): Oh GOD. That's my NAME?
Nastinchka (13:42:08): Yes.
jangel139 (13:42:26): I have no words for that.
Nastinchka (13:42:34): And if you think you'll llive it down....think again, littlr camper.
jangel139 (13:42:45): Do you want me to do this show or not!??!
jangel139 (13:42:56): I'd back down on the threats until I attend at least one rehearsal if I were you ....
jangel139 (13:43:22): I can still go to Girls' State.
Nastinchka (13:43:23): Oh, you're in now and you know it. I think I'm pretty safe.
jangel139 (13:43:24): Oh no wait.
jangel139 (13:43:26): No I can't.
Nastinchka (13:43:31): No, you can Not.
jangel139 (13:43:36): Because I would PULL OUT ALL MY HAIR
jangel139 (13:43:48): So I guess I'm in this.

DJWanaBling (13:22:02): Entertain me.
Nastinchka (13:29:17): *dance*
Nastinchka (13:31:10): *wiggle*
Nastinchka (13:31:15): *makes balloon animals*
DJWanaBling (13:31:51): thanks....
Nastinchka (13:32:45): Any time.

Nastinchka (00:50:33): Nice to know someone's on my side. (to be fair, you sort of started the side before I got there, though, didn't you?)
nicodemus055 (00:51:05): Yes, I rather did.

Re Alex and Outward Bound:
LiviaHarlowe (19:29:44): i cant wait for her to come back. i hope she learns something.
Nastinchka (19:30:19): Even if it's only to make a shiv out of an oar.

ShiftyEyedGuy (21:37:23): yeah. we got played
Nastinchka (21:37:40): Like really, really pretty fiddles.
ShiftyEyedGuy (21:38:02): lol
Nastinchka (21:38:12): *preen*

jangel139 (15:06:03): Get Out Of My Head.
Nastinchka (15:06:16): :-*
Nastinchka (15:06:26): It's so nice and roomy in here, though ;-)
jangel139 (15:07:05): Yeah, I guess there's not much to crowd you out. If you see any spiderwebs or dust balls, be sure to be polite - they're long-term guests of the facility.
Nastinchka (15:07:12): ROTFL
jangel139 (15:07:45): Thank you, thank you.
Nastinchka (15:08:26): Tip your waitresses. Try the salisbury steak.
jangel139 (15:09:38): .. it's delicious. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes.
Nastinchka (15:09:47): WOW.
jangel139 (15:10:49): After all, Miss, this is France.
Nastinchka (15:11:18): And the dinnner here is never....is this thing on?? *tap tap*
jangel139 (15:13:44): The dish and the spoon were down on their luck, they came knocking on --- waiiit, wrong silverware.
Nastinchka (15:14:39): I said is this thing ON? *breathe*
jangel139 (15:17:44): -Life is so unnerving, for a servant who's ... what the fuck kinda snow is this?!
- The salt shaker's sick, we had to send on Paprika, don't break character!
Nastinchka (15:17:59): GOD.
jangel139 (15:19:02): I'm on a roll. Not a good or highly esteemed or envyable roll, but a roll all the same ...
Nastinchka (15:19:23): We take what we can get lately, don't we, darling?
jangel139 (15:19:28): Like one of those rolls you get with an airplane dinner. Mediocre. That's m yroll.
Nastinchka (15:19:37): Or something.
jangel139 (15:20:02): I don't know WHAT is wrong with me today.

Auto response from Photofobia (12:26:23): Scientists say: There are more creatures in your mouth than there are humans on Earth. mmm...creatures...

nicodemus055 (16:31:48): I'm wearing underoos here and it's only 70.
Nastinchka (16:32:31): This has been such a great year for you crumbling in various extreme weather conditions!! What fun for we spectators!!
nicodemus055 (16:33:12): Now I'm hard, though. I was wearing my sandals out in 30 degree weather a couple of weeks ago.
Nastinchka (16:33:21): *pet pet*
Nastinchka (16:34:12): I'll remember that when it's four pm and we're trying to drag your naked, snarling ass out of bed and you're clinging to your fan for dear life.
nicodemus055 (16:34:22): Lol

LiviaHarlowe (22:29:50): LiviaHarlowe (10:25:49 PM): tell me--does he refer to his naughty parts as his Lightsabre?
stewball103183 (10:27:06 PM): oh Joan Hollingsworth you are a laugh riot!
Nastinchka (22:30:15): I think he meant laff rriot, and JOan-slayer-of-all-things-hollingsworth, but whatever.
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:30): i think he just died
LiviaHarlowe (22:30:36): (and not in my arms tonight)

jangel139 (16:47:55): So, while you may die in a spectacularly entertaining fashion, I will be just another victim of a gang rape by trailor trash.
Nastinchka (16:48:12): That is true.
jangel139 (16:48:45): Or else a creative suicide, brought on by Sarah's stunning ability to think more of herself than you, Holls, and Joan collectively think of yourselves.
jangel139 (16:48:50): Which is An Accomplishment.
jangel139 (16:48:57): And not nearly so entertaining as it is when you three do it.
Nastinchka (16:49:00): Ok.
Nastinchka (16:49:05): Let's back up for a second.
Nastinchka (16:49:18): Because not only did you say "you, Holls, or Joan"
Nastinchka (16:49:22): But you called me Holls.
jangel139 (16:49:22): Wow.
Nastinchka (16:49:33): *patiently awaits penance*
jangel139 (16:49:40): I love you, I love you, I love you.
jangel139 (16:49:46): I'll say three Hail Holly's

Nastinchka (17:28:39): Be warned, for this batch contains Best SNark Ever, and it will surely leave you Preggers.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:34:00): the funny is back
Nastinchka (17:34:10): In so many different ways. I love Us.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:34:44): i wanted to vomit when i saw the shazam snark
Nastinchka (17:34:51): It's the BEST SNARK EVER.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:35:01): it hurt me just to read it
Nastinchka (17:35:09): Better than the penis brittle snark.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:35:16): i think i'm....AHHHHHHHH
Nastinchka (17:35:20): Blind?
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:35:22): hbdsaflkb
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:35:24): dslagljg
Nastinchka (17:35:28): Ah. Epileptic.
Nastinchka (17:35:30): Cool.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:35:34): *convulses*
Nastinchka (17:35:48): Wow, you can convulse and work the shift key? Whatta woman.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:36:03): *bites tongue, then swallows*
Nastinchka (17:36:10): EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Nastinchka (17:36:12): sdf;lkjasdlkjf
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:36:16): LOL
Nastinchka (17:36:31): Quit passing along your Fits!!
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:36:55): that what you get with exchanging fluids with me
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:37:09): OR FOR
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:37:14): god
Nastinchka (17:37:17): If exchanging fluids with you is wrong, then I want very much to be right.
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:37:19): i can't type
ShiftyEyedGuy (17:37:23): lol
Nastinchka (17:37:26): That's abundantly clear.

Auto response from Nastinchka (19:25:56): Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous.
Good thing this shower curtain's opaque.
KeiranOHara (19:25:56): i'll tell you what hes hungry for, and it got bronzing powder all over it

Spring Break Eve:
stewball103183: Is it alright if i do some coke to stay awake on the way up? It'l only be a little, i promise.
Auto response from stewball103183: We're leaving in about 15 hours. God save us.
LiviaHarlowe: Share.
stewball103183: hey i know you have your own stash
LiviaHarlowe: and make sure you do a line off the steering wheel in front of jay
stewball103183: you share
stewball103183: im not gonna sweat the small stuff, ill be happy jus as long as i dont lose a limb
LiviaHarlowe: i cant promise we wont have to amputate you...for our own amusement
stewball103183: hah youll have a hell of a time doing that, once my sister and four of her friends tried to brush my hair against my will and it ended in me breaking the brush in half with one hand whilst throwing them all down the stairs with the other
stewball103183: bitch
LiviaHarlowe: wow
stewball103183: i am not wearin no thong
LiviaHarlowe: you arent allowed to talk to danny!
stewball103183: your not my moo
LiviaHarlowe: but i am your mom
LiviaHarlowe: roo
stewball103183: if i have to tell my moo i will
LiviaHarlowe: ROO
stewball103183: hmmm talking with my mouth full eh?? well you better pratice
sleeping with one eye open tonight
LiviaHarlowe: eyes, thighs...whichever.
LiviaHarlowe: please--dont even pretend like you aren't going to sleep at Our feet.
stewball103183: like you could ever keep your thighs open... whore
stewball103183: i mean closed
LiviaHarlowe: I know....stupid.
stewball103183: i call couch
LiviaHarlowe: I call "OH STEW"
stewball103183: you get someone else for your feetsies
LiviaHarlowe: And you for our (black) hearts. (Holly)
LiviaHarlowe: ANd other vital bits.
stewball103183: oh lord you know i charge by the hour
LiviaHarlowe: As the one straight boy, I imagine you'll be taking moire than a few for the team.
LiviaHarlowe: Believe me, we know.
stewball103183: oh god
stewball103183: ahha did you jus block danny
LiviaHarlowe: No.
LiviaHarlowe: Why?
stewball103183: yeah ya did
LiviaHarlowe: *head tilt* (Holly)
LiviaHarlowe: Imagine that.
stewball103183: indeed
stewball103183: danny has a few bags
LiviaHarlowe: We'll be able to fit our stuff and one other person's in our car, if that's what you're asking.
LiviaHarlowe: Danny packs like A Woman.
stewball103183: danny wants to talk to you so he can arrange a donkey punch
stewball103183: for you
LiviaHarlowe: no, because i'm about to hand off to holly.
LiviaHarlowe: bye
stewball103183: bye
LiviaHarlowe: HI STEW
LiviaHarlowe: >:o
stewball103183: hey holly
LiviaHarlowe: FUck
stewball103183: ahhhh
LiviaHarlowe: That was supposed to be 8-)
LiviaHarlowe: Beach face.
stewball103183: damn i thought your smiley face was spewing impurities to me
LiviaHarlowe: Nah.
LiviaHarlowe: Ok. Back to Joan.
LiviaHarlowe: See you tomorrow.
stewball103183: dang yall all over the place
LiviaHarlowe: much like your moo was in the shower last night
stewball103183: she cant move like that anymore she has a bad back
LiviaHarlowe: I don't.
LiviaHarlowe: --Holly
stewball103183: its called a change over the movie keeps going and you have no idea
LiviaHarlowe: Her back is fine when she's lying on it
stewball103183: true, well im gonna shoot over to your mamas house real quick and donkey punch her into submission at which point ill put my cock in her mouth and take black mail pictures which ill post at your ballet class
LiviaHarlowe: OH.
LiviaHarlowe: MY.
LiviaHarlowe: GOD.
stewball103183: no need to worship me
stewball103183: its not THAT big
stewball103183: contrary to what your mom may tell you
LiviaHarlowe: Danny sayss different.
LiviaHarlowe: But I know how things can...diminish...in the cold flourescent light of day. (Holly)
LiviaHarlowe: I assume you're too distracted by your impending orgasm to answer. I'll wait.
stewball103183: well back to sleeping with one eye open
LiviaHarlowe: I'm surprised you don't do that already.
LiviaHarlowe: 2 words; roller blades.
stewball103183: your less likely to think your being smothered by a python if you can see it
LiviaHarlowe: Sorry, I should have known to leave your women out of it.
stewball103183: how much fairyness shall i expect at the beach?
LiviaHarlowe: 100 percent
LiviaHarlowe: THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE GOING WITH
LiviaHarlowe: Jay
LiviaHarlowe: Michael
LiviaHarlowe: Walter
LiviaHarlowe: Anny-Day
stewball103183: anna
stewball103183: nice pig latin there
LiviaHarlowe: What pig latin?
stewball103183: oh nothing
LiviaHarlowe: *head tilt*
LiviaHarlowe: You'll be surrounded by lovely adorable queens. get used to it.
stewball103183: i would be molested non stop
LiviaHarlowe: you can MC the pageant
stewball103183: ah
LiviaHarlowe: you're already going to be molested nonstop. please.
stewball103183: me and danny went to good will today and got some fun clothes for the beach
LiviaHarlowe: i can only imagine. i've always thought tafetta was a fetching look for you.
stewball103183: damn im gettin tired right now, i might go to wal mart to find some walki talkies but i make no promises
LiviaHarlowe: NO
LiviaHarlowe: GO
LiviaHarlowe: NOW.
LiviaHarlowe: Now.
LiviaHarlowe: Or not....we don't really care.
LiviaHarlowe: You should actually not go because you're going to need to get a good night's sleep tonight.
stewball103183: im sure well both crash and burn on the way there so why not splurge whilst we still have our faces
stewball103183: ill be in bed by 12
LiviaHarlowe: What is this use of "whilst"? You don't know what that means. The fact that you spelled it correctly is a lark.
stewball103183: blah blah blah
LiviaHarlowe: May the Force give you strength.
stewball103183: i wansnt implyuing that

Did you trip over something?

Posted by Nastinchka at July 26, 2004 08:26 PM