Snarkastic

Laff Riot 14: St. Elmo's Snark

Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them:

I am SO not making this up:
Nastinchka (00:48:10): I JUST GOT A NAZI POKER SPAM COMMENT ON MY SITE
Nastinchka (00:48:33): The link they provide is a link to a texas hold 'em site
Nastinchka (00:48:37): And the message is this:
Nastinchka (00:48:39): "The F?hrer alone is the present and future German reality and its law. Learn to know ever more deeply: from now on every single thing demands decison, and every action responsiblity."
nicodemus055 (00:49:02): Time cube, much?
Nastinchka (00:49:03): GAH

Howba. Horribly. True.
mrg1423 (22:59:38): who else is mamed and injured that I know of
Nastinchka (22:59:44): Hrm.
Nastinchka (23:00:20): Can't think of any more off the top of my head, but give it a couple days and I'm sure someone else will get hurt.
mrg1423 (23:00:42): Amen

I suppose I should get all these baseball snarks out of the way:

If I'd posted when I was supposed to, this wouldn't be So Over, but I didn't, it is, and I'm comforted only by the knowledge that they'll lose the Series for sure:
nicodemus055 (02:54:25):Red Sox Nation:
The only country that loses more often than France.

I hope they're fucking happy. Remarkable also because he said holy hell:
nicodemus055 (12:01:18): Oh holy hell. There's a poll on Boston.com: Which would you prefer, a Kerry win or a Red Sox win? The majority of the respondents said that they would rather see a Sox victory.

Last one, for serious:
Auto response from KeiranOHara (23:41:31): go sox, go kerry, and long live the Commonwealth!

In other sports news, Cara and I are v. pretty (oh, sue me; it was the Georgia game):
Allais500 (16:18:12): Go DAWGS!
Auto response from Nastinchka (16:18:13): For the love of GOD, get over here and watch the game!! We're playing like A Football Team!! VAWLS!!
Nastinchka (16:42:04): I should warn you for that.
Allais500 (16:48:14): Ha
Auto response from Nastinchka (16:48:14): Joan: "So Stewart and I were wrestling last night, with the understanding that I was Tennessee and he was Georgia, and he had me pinned and thought he won and got all cocky and I bit him on the stomach. He had it coming."
Nastinchka (19:08:23): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Allais500 (19:08:42): I refer you to the bottom of my most recent post.
Auto response from Nastinchka (19:08:42): GEORGIA 14
TENNESSEE 19
Allais500 (19:09:00): Or the entire post, for that matter.
Nastinchka (19:11:21): I LOVE YOU ANYWAY
Nastinchka (19:11:24): I LOVE EVERYBODDY
Nastinchka (19:11:27): BODY
Nastinchka (19:11:28): LOL
Allais500 (19:11:44): I'm sure you do. I love everybody too, but I hate football.
Allais500 (19:11:55): "Specially the Vols.
Allais500 (19:12:13): But I'm not here to rain on your parade
Nastinchka (19:12:15): I LOVE FOOTBALL
Nastinchka (19:12:17): AND KITTENS
Nastinchka (19:12:18): AND YOU
Nastinchka (19:12:22): :-*
Allais500 (19:12:29): I TOTALLY LOVE YOU AND KITTENS
Nastinchka (19:12:35): WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Allais500 (19:12:57): I take it that's pretty much a summary of the sounds coming from the fort at this moment.
Nastinchka (19:13:21): WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Later that same night:
Allais500 (21:29:36): TTU 24
Auto response from Nastinchka (21:29:36): GEORGIA 14
TENNESSEE 19
Allais500 (21:29:39): UTC 14
Allais500 (21:29:47): WWWOOOO Eagles!!!
Nastinchka (21:29:49): ROoo!! :-)
Nastinchka (21:29:52): (THat's good, right?)
Allais500 (21:29:52): Purple and gold!!!
Nastinchka (21:29:56): Ok!! WOOOOO!!
Allais500 (21:30:45): We're so kicking their ass, in the 1 AA!!!!
Nastinchka (21:30:50): Awesome.
Allais500 (21:31:24): I gotta go gloat on...I dunno, who goes to UTC still? Besides Rhys?
Allais500 (21:45:06): I failed to reach Adam, so when you see him you have to gloat on his alma mater for me.
Nastinchka (21:45:19): Shall. :-)
Nastinchka (21:45:23): Avec plaisir.
Allais500 (21:45:57): We're gonna continue to rule them in the last two quarters, or whatever they have in football
Nastinchka (21:47:03): lol
Allais500 (21:48:48): I try
Allais500 (21:49:12): We're currently discussing how we could be at this game for free, but we just don't care.
Allais500 (21:50:08): So, instead, we're watching it on PBS
Nastinchka (21:50:34): IT'S ON PBS????
Allais500 (21:50:38): You get ESPN, we get PBS

jangel139 (18:30:45): So, we have Homecoming tonight instead of Friday because of the hurricane.
jangel139 (18:30:47): The game.
jangel139 (18:31:05): Oh, and the door-decorating contest will continue tomorrow.
Nastinchka (18:31:06): DAT FUNNY.
Nastinchka (18:31:14): So yours can say "Go Wildcats!!"
Nastinchka (18:31:19): "Bash(ed) the Bears!!"
jangel139 (18:31:22): lol.
jangel139 (18:31:24): Yes.
Nastinchka (18:31:31): Or not, it were.
jangel139 (18:31:34): That's what I will make sure ours says.
jangel139 (18:31:36): I really hope we lose
Nastinchka (18:31:45): Who's it against?
jangel139 (18:31:48): Just to see what people do tomorrow when we're still supposed to be buying spirit links.
jangel139 (18:32:32): Heritage Mountaineers
jangel139 (18:32:42): So, there's no chance that we'll lose. But I can dream.
Nastinchka (18:32:50): You won't lose.
jangel139 (18:33:05): Hey, God owes me a favor.

I'm not sure what made me think this was okay:
nicodemus055 (12:24:03): http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/09/16/ligtning.strike.ap/index.html
nicodemus055 (12:24:07): Mmm... God smites.
Nastinchka (12:24:45): :-(
nicodemus055 (12:25:06): The bolt hit 2.5 percent of the town's population.
Nastinchka (12:25:07): He's a high-schooler, Nick.
nicodemus055 (12:25:36): I was referring to the 40 hits, not the one death.
Nastinchka (12:25:41): ....kay?

Last mention of football for the evening, for serious:
Auto response from Nastinchka (23:11:08):
Roses are red;
Violets are blue;
I'm in rehearsal;
Fuck New England.

Okay, except this, because it perfectly encapsulates UT life in the fall:
utkjoe (05:03:13): go vols. *hic*

*'transition to local sports' joke*
jangel139 (18:50:25): after dinner, looking out on the backyard
Mom: aww that squirrel's burying a nut or something
Joy: oh cute, I wanna see
Dad gets up from table
Mom: better see quick, Dad's getting his gun
Joy: do other familes have this problem?
Mom: "Honey, quick, look at the nature before your father kills it?" Hm, I don't know.
Gun: bang
Dad: GOT 'EM.

*'transition to indoor sports' joke*
kaitlinwithani (02:21:47): SWEET CHRIST! IS SHE A FUCKING DANCER??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLY RANCID. IT MUST BE STOPPED.

*another indoor sports joke* (Even funnier since the two-t hott was apparently a typo):
Allais500 (15:40:46): Heard from Adrock yet?
Nastinchka (15:42:57): Nuh-uh
Allais500 (15:43:18): Alrighty then
Allais500 (15:43:31): I have yet to hear from Mr. Waddle as well
Nastinchka (15:43:36): Selfish bastards.
Nastinchka (15:43:40): I bet they're somewhere making out.
Allais500 (15:43:54): That's hott.
Allais500 (15:43:56): t
Nastinchka (15:44:00): I know, right?

Done and done. Now, back to what we do best: Half-educated bitching about politics and roasting our friends:

Auto response from Nastinchka (23:09:09): WILL YOU PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY (AND MORE THAN A FEW THINGS THAT AREN'T) WATCH THE DEBATES AND VOTE. STAND UP OR SHUT UP. GOD. I WANT SO MUCH TO LIKE YOU PEOPLE AND YOU'RE MAKING IT REALLY. HARD. NO, IN A BAD WAY.

Nastinchka (23:31:42): YOU HAVE TO GET TO A TV. ANN COULTER AND JESSE JACKSON ARE ABOUT TO SQUARE OFF ON CNN.
Allais500 (23:32:28): AHHHH no cable!!
Nastinchka (23:32:32): AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Allais500 (23:32:46): Must call Ben for Tivo action!!!
Nastinchka (23:33:04): MUST

I don't really know why this is funny. (Peanut gallery: "It's not.") I think it's the juxtaposition of international affairs talk and cutesy platitudes. Or it could just be the coke:
jangel139 (23:55:15): dude, what's the name of that guy we appointed in Iraq?
jangel139 (23:55:17): I keep forgetting
Nastinchka (23:55:23): Bremer?
jangel139 (23:55:26): nooo
Nastinchka (23:55:44): The new PM?
jangel139 (23:55:48): Yes.
Nastinchka (23:55:57): Allawi.
jangel139 (23:55:59): I couldn't remember if we were calling him PM or president
jangel139 (23:55:59): thanks.
Nastinchka (23:56:10): Yup. SLeepytime. Kisses.

Nastinchka (19:59:02): I saw you in a movie today...;-)
utkjoe (19:59:57): oh yeah?
Nastinchka (20:00:21): The one about recycling. You looked pretty.
utkjoe (20:01:33): I got distracted. Sara Cravens walked by
utkjoe (20:01:41): and i kinda lied for some reason
utkjoe (20:01:45): I do actually recyclye.
utkjoe (20:01:48): ah well
utkjoe (20:01:53): if Fox can lie, so can I
Nastinchka (20:02:13): She left the wave to Sara in and it was the funniest part of the movie.
utkjoe (20:02:41): that's hilarious
Nastinchka (20:03:17): It was awesome.
Nastinchka (20:03:32): "Nah, I don't recycle...how you doin'?"
utkjoe (20:04:39): I'm only slightly embarassed.

One more for the "you had to be there" pile:
Nastinchka (18:09:41): So I'm going to put your away message up as my away message and see how many horrified responses I get.
Auto response from kaitlinwithani (18:09:43): Bama girls are pretty, Vandy girls are smart, but it takes a TENNESSEE girl to win a fella's heart. Florida girls are tan, LSU girls got flow, but when you want the best looking girl, TENNESSEE's where you gotta go. Auburn girls are wild, Georgia girls are fun, but a TENNESSEE girl's a VOL GIRL, come on, they're #1! To any man who reads this, and truly wants to know, If you have a TENNESSEE GIRL you should NEVER let her go!
Nastinchka (18:09:47): From my boys, I mean.
Nastinchka (18:10:00): And it's Friday, so they might not be around, but itcould be good fun.

If you only could have heard the quiet rage in his voice:
nicodemus055 (18:28:40): Yeah. That away message has got to go.
Nastinchka (20:48:45): You got punk'd, darlin'.

Whither, Caesar?
Nastinchka (23:59:19): Oh, God, you fell in and drowned, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!?
Auto response from ShiftyEyedGuy (23:59:19): here somewhere
ShiftyEyedGuy (03:01:21): funny story... no, i'm fine. but i may have met a girl.

Post-tumble:
nicodemus055 (20:46:44): How is its fragile structure?
Nastinchka (20:46:58): It is many interesting colors.
nicodemus055 (20:47:37): Heh
nicodemus055 (20:47:46): You need adamantium.
Nastinchka (20:47:50): I do!!
nicodemus055 (20:48:15): And kevlar for tendons.

jangel139 (17:25:22): I know, right?
jangel139 (17:25:30): oh god, I meant to only put "I know."
Nastinchka (17:25:36): Yeah.
Nastinchka (17:25:40): THat's gonna be fun.
jangel139 (17:25:55): What, that you're IN MY HEAD dictating my typing?
Nastinchka (17:26:01): Yeah.
Nastinchka (17:26:05): *tell me how pretty i am*
jangel139 (17:26:08): Yeah I bet that'll be fun for you
jangel139 (17:26:11): very very pretty
jangel139 (17:26:13): GOD STOP
Nastinchka (17:26:15): MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jangel139 (17:26:34): ::whimper::
Nastinchka (17:26:42): *struts*
Nastinchka (17:26:44): *preens*
jangel139 (17:26:58): ::cowers::
Nastinchka (17:27:04): *pet pet*
jangel139 (17:27:12): ::purr::
Nastinchka (17:27:15): S'ok. Have you not learned by now that I'm a benevolent deity?
jangel139 (17:27:51): I am one of the fortunate few who have ever seen that side of you, yes.
Nastinchka (17:28:02): So true.

ShiftyEyedGuy (20:33:51): give my regards... to BROADWAY!!!
Nastinchka (20:33:55): GOD.
Nastinchka (20:34:08): It's freakier because I happen to be listening to Crazy For You RIGHT NOW.
ShiftyEyedGuy (20:34:08): :-D
ShiftyEyedGuy (20:34:15): OMG
ShiftyEyedGuy (20:34:19): that's nuts
Nastinchka (20:34:20): Yeah.
Nastinchka (20:34:24): YOU'RE nuts.
ShiftyEyedGuy (20:34:39): yeah
Nastinchka (20:35:07): THe Twinsy vibe will not be denied.
ShiftyEyedGuy (20:35:15): true that

Convincing, yes; though I can't vouch it's convincing us of something you'd appreciate:
Auto response from stewball103183 (16:45:27): Ahem, break yourslef fool. Did that sound convincing?? God i hope so.

We'll let Spawn close this one out:
jangel139 (22:17:58): Also, I just TOTALLY psyched out my toughest competition for the Jefferson nomination, and he's not applying for it anymore.
jangel139 (22:18:
18): It was awesome. I played good cop/bad cop by MYSELF.
Nastinchka (22:18:31): One down, four hundred to go.
jangel139 (22:19:23): OPTIMISM
Nastinchka (22:19:35): AGAINST MY CHARACTER
jangel139 (22:19:36): c'mon 'Caust.
Nastinchka (22:19:36): AND YOURS
jangel139 (22:19:39): .... yeah, okay.
jangel139 (22:19:41): God.
Nastinchka (22:19:48): You started the caps.
jangel139 (22:19:48): Stop being so realistic.
Nastinchka (22:19:52): Okay.
jangel139 (22:20:40): I did indeed start the caps. Unapologetically. And I'd do it again. With the same information I had today. Because I think that to say that this is a mistake means our boys are over there dying for nothing ... and that would lose the republican vote. I mean ...
jangel139 (22:20:51): Someone stop me before I hurt myselef.
Nastinchka (22:20:54): WOw.
Nastinchka (22:21:04): Threw us both into a typo tailspin.
jangel139 (22:21:30): I don't know my own strength.

Nastinchka (19:04:23): S'ok. Your adoration from afar will warm me on cold winter nights....y0.
jangel139 (19:04:38): I like how you used y0 and afar in the same sentence.
Nastinchka (19:05:07): I feel the need to temper stuff like that. I don't know why it always comes out in ebonics.
jangel139 (19:05:46): If I wasn't so tired, I'd make some joke about you being As White As They Come, but ... I slept 3 hours.
Nastinchka (19:07:23): Ah, fuck....the August entry's finally off the front page, and I've posted so little since I got to school that the right column took over the bottom of the page. I needs to get some postinating done, stat.
jangel139 (19:07:43): I just saw that and wondered if you were gonna tell me it was my browser again.
Nastinchka (19:07:54): It ain't. it's my slackassitude.
Nastinchka (19:07:46): It's like watching the little blocks pile up to the top in Tetris, only exactly the opposite and in my head.

From the mouths of babes:
jangel139 (22:13:03): Some days I wonder if I belong in theatre, and then I'll have a moment of blinding passionate love for life, marked by dancing, singing, screaming, driving, or some combination of the above, followed abruptly by the desire to slit my throat.
jangel139 (22:13:07): And then I know I'm in the right place.

It's our time on the edge

Posted by Nastinchka at October 21, 2004 12:37 AM