Snarkastic: The One Where My Life Appears Wretched Despite Presences of Loving Parents, Devoted Cadre of Sycophants, Adoring Beaux, Prodigious Talent in Everything I Care To Attempt, Great Hair, And Getting Everything I Want, All The Time, And A Pumpkin Latte.

November 03, 2005

The One Where My Life Appears Wretched Despite Presences of Loving Parents, Devoted Cadre of Sycophants, Adoring Beaux, Prodigious Talent in Everything I Care To Attempt, Great Hair, And Getting Everything I Want, All The Time, And A Pumpkin Latte.

...Actually, that wraps it up nicely.

Alternate title: The One Where I Habitually Go To Bed With Wet Hair In An Unheated Apartment Where It's So Cold I Can See My Breath And Even If It Weren't So Chilly I Leave The Windows Open All Day And Then Wonder Why I Get Sick All The Time

Posted by Nastinchka at November 3, 2005 07:59 AM

Comments

I would have just titled it The One Where My Life Really Is Amazingly Perfect And Everything I Want I Get But GOOD GOD DID YOU SEE WHAT CRISPIN GLOVER WAS WEARING IN THAT PHOTO WHY DOES HE RUIN EVERYTHING I HATE MY LIFE.

Posted by: WHY at November 3, 2005 10:44 AM

Sadly, the only implausibility in the whole piece is the bit where they're registered at Sephora. What's that 99-cent line of cosmetics where I found the perfect Whorehouse lipstick last summer? (Wet 'n' Wild?) Seems a better fit for La Peldon.

Posted by: I DON'T KNOW at November 3, 2005 10:50 AM

'Balls' would have done the job just as well.

Posted by: Chuck at November 3, 2005 11:57 AM

You are cordially invited to the Wet'n'Wild wedding of Dame Courtney Peldon and the plummeting stock that is Crispin Glover. Reception dinner by Golden Nugget.

Posted by: RSVP: San Mateo Motel 6 at November 3, 2005 03:24 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/11/03/music.r.kelly.ap/index.html

so cold...feel so alone...

get jay. we're watching this.

Posted by: WOW. at November 3, 2005 03:28 PM

Jay called today and said he would buy the DVD of Trapped in the Closet: Volumes 1-21 if we can all watch it together. Obviously, I agreed on both our behalfs.

Posted by: I Hate Quarterbacks Named Brady at November 5, 2005 09:16 PM

I feel really bad for Sanders. He's not the one dropping all those PERFECTLY LOFTED PASSES.

But what do we say to that? GO COLTS.

Re above: In this, as in all R. Kelly-related decisions with which we are faced (and they are myriad, make no mistake), I defer to your v. pretty judgment.

Bitch, you about to be breathless.

Posted by: Holly at November 5, 2005 09:35 PM

P.S. Maybe should've mentioned earlier that all is actually well, and I was too streppy to get out of bed and being maudlin, but the above post takes care of any appearances of Actual Despair, I guess.

Posted by: H at November 8, 2005 11:22 AM