February 18, 2007
elegy for an unnecessarily large tie
This morning, like many of you, I woke up with a lot of unresolved feelings about Michael Irvin's departure from ESPN. So I did what any reasonable person would do: I wrote a poem composed entirely of comments taken verbatim from the Fanhouse thread. (NB: I swear, I did not make any of these up. Original spelling, grammar, and punctuation have been preserved. All [sic]s implied. Also, a couple of the stanzas rhyme, but that's a total accident.)
Michael
will be sorely missed.
He brought class
to an otherwise idiotic show.
aaahhh,
ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,
aaahhh,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,aaahhh,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,aaahhh,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,
he has the gift to gab,
empty vessels make the most noise
What's next, Jerry Jones caput in a case of spontaneous combustion?
AAAHHH,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,AAAAAAHHHH,
HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,AAAAAAAHHHHHHH,
HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,
This is not about race, he just sucked
thats all.
Who cares what team he played on? He just sucked,
thats all,
he caught footballs for a living, and did ok.
he had his fingers in too many nasty pies
Subjects like public speaking & english were passed over for archery & bowling.
and his passion juvinates through the tv screen today.
ESPN is full of PC Hacks who are programmed like robots.
I liked Mike he was a change of pace because of the fact that he had no broadcasting talent
You could see the pain and subtle tension in the voices, comments and body language
of truly qualified analysts such as Tom Jackson, Steve Young and Ron Jawarski.
I wonder if Dennis Miller is available?
I dont kno if he still does drugs it dont matter to me i aint related to him.
Our long national nightmare is OVER!!!!
That dude knows how to survive
and he will be a great sports analysis.
YOU MAKE LAUDERDALE, THE 954, PROUD.
HE WAS AN ADULTERY
I guess birds of a feather does stick together.
So long MI, it was not nice knowing you
IF ONLY DAN PATRICK
WOULD PLEASE LET HIM GO AWAY FOREVER.
Now if Jerry Jones fires TO, they can kiss and console each other. A match made in HECK!!
point the camera at ME asshole.
Guns.....Mink Coats ...
they can go clubing together,
since you know they don't know anything about fishing or anything you have to use your brains.
I am a HUGE Cowboy fan..thank god hes off the air.
I think the layman's term for this character is a "punk".
If he could bring himself to study Mr. Berman's and Mr. Jackson's
analyses and commentaries
maybe he could come across as other than a punk "pushin'" football.
you spout your venimous jealousy on the internet
like anyone cares about your lame opinions.
alot of people hate him because he
kicked your teams but when he played and you could not stop him!!!
But it seems some buttholes
refuse
to
let
a
brother
get
a
break.
is there really that much hate in this world
that we cannot allow him to move on
quietly
into his own world
GO STEELERS...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hell, If you can't bash Michael.
Then who you gonna bash?
The Pope?
just so you all know...
hes speaking at a very popular CHURCH
IN LAS VEGAS
THIS MORNING!.
GOD BLESS Irvin and all of the PERFECT Haters
HAAAAAAAAALEEEEEEYULA! , HALEYULA! , HALEYULA!!!!!
god bless you mike
......and while he is blessing you
......he also will give you the newest edition of websters dictionary.
I stopped watching Sunday countdown
because of him.
I tivo'ed it
look at michael vicks brother
he in trouble
so leave michal and barrt alone ok
WOW THERES SOMETHING BETTER TO WORRY ABOUT
LIKE CHILD MOLESTERS
AND WHAT GOING ON IN THE WORLD THAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT
SO GET A LIFE OK
THEN WE WILL TALK
worry
ABOUT THE WAR
OK THERES SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT
OK SO LET THEM LIVE THERE LIVES
OK
You think its funny michael irvin losts his job.
know whats funny is if you and your faimly would all DIE.
NOW THATIS FUNNY .
His eulogy in another 100 years.
Live forever
Michael.
Just wish you could have wore that star a little longer
Peace people peace its so much better.
and he does know football your you wouldnt have be on the sunday mormning show so pepole espn does not hire any one with out know any tihing about sports every body has problems these days some pepole dont know you as well as i do i covered you while you where at miami he was the 15th kid out of 17 evry one go trew a hard time in life its part of life go hurricanes 07 so dont single out one person because they have problems in life ok or because there aferican american ok ill tell you what if you and berry bonds were white you guys wouldnt be talked about so talk about something else ok let them and others live there lives the way they want to ok media likes to make a bigger deal about something that is not that big of a deal the only thing you pepole should be worrying about is the good dam WAR OK SO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE UNTIL YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT MATTERS LEAVE IT ALONE GO DALLAS AND CANES
I also think some of you are hatters.
Affirmed.
Posted by Nastinchka at February 18, 2007 03:10 PM
THIS IS A MASTERPIECE. It should be studied.
I'm in the middle of writing a paper about a 20th Century poem, is it too late for me to write about this one instead?
Plenty of aspiring e.e. cummings in there, huh?
Yeah, the comments were bad enough to begin with before you added pretentious line breaks. I almost feel sorry for them.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Or a rail of fine Columbian?
stan lee was the bus driver on heroes!!!!!
i am such a dork