Snarkastic

After that Reagan joke, I'm afraid to download the podcast.

I took one for the team. Team America.

"(#1 Fake Internet Boyfriend 4EVA N A Day)"

Somewhere, an Internet promise championship ring falls from the mantle and shatters.

Would you like everyone to know why?

I'll probably regret this, but I want to know.
I'm speaking for everyone.

Motherfucker DISSED the INDIANAPOLIS COLTS. On DEADSPIN, no less, where, LEST WE FORGET, everything we say is archived for ALL INTERNET TIME.

But that's all right. Sussypants knows that long as he toes the line and pledges fealty to the blue and white, he's still on my list. Right, Sussypants?

I'm not sure I can handle the thought of you on broadcast media. it's so wrong in such a deliciously strange sort of way.

go colts.

Oh, and in the live chat after my ten minutes of acting the fool, I also compared Skip Bayless, unfavorably, to crib death.

Just finished listening. You are divine.

You're next, missy.

He is unbearable. At least crib death is a silent killer. Skip will talk you into the grave.

Who's #1? After I managed to not spoil The Shield, I find out I'm not even top 3?

Good Grief.

You are absolutely Top 3. Particularly after 120 emails in two hours.

(Seriously, sorry about that. But I like to think it was worth it.)

Actually it was only 98, or at least that's how many I had waiting for me this morning. Were you gals having a quilting bee last night?

But completely ok, not a problem at all.

You don't know the half of it Hank. There was drama, booze, heavy petting, and even a little 80's music.
High times.

I'll take one of each except the 80's music.

Apolgy accepted. Thanks for the snarkastic shout out...that's the first step in making things better. Step two involves me, you, TX Gal, ice cubes, a touch of cayenne pepper, and live crawfish.

And cold beer.

RCR

The Reagan thing's going into the "Best Memories" scrapbook next to "I don't remember making a movie" during the She Hate Me trailer.

"You're next, missy."

My balls are not as big as yours.

Step two involves me, you, TX Gal, ice cubes, a touch of cayenne pepper, and live crawfish.

And cold beer.

I just wanted everyone to have to look at that again.

I'm not gonna lie...I gasped with joy when I saw RCR in here. Hello, darlin'.

Seriously, if anyone has yet to listen to Radio Free SEC--you have not lived until you've heard this guy freestyle. Kid's got a bright future.

Glad that went over well...one of my goals for 2007 has been to make at least one woman per day gasp with joy. So far, I've managed to accomplish that goal a grand total of...twice this year. Things are looking up.

And if you think me on EDSBS radio is hot, you should hear me freestyle on the mic. It's funky. Like an old batch of collard greens. I'm like a white version of Blackalicious. But I'm more brownish. Brownishalicious.

What on earth is Radio Free SEC? This sounds delightful.

RCR - I'm hearing good things about you on the radio man. I like your moves. Speak more of this crawfish.

Jebus--your performance was pretty sweet as well. You're my kind of weird, buddy.

Stella--I meant EDSBS Live, and it's really a misnomer since it's half Orson and half Peter, who's a Texas boy, but doesn't the "Radio Free _____" construction make it sound much more romantic?

*golf claps* to RCR for jumping face-first into the fake email game. In fact, good show from....JESSE THAT'S JUST SICK (everyone, Big Daddy = one of my dearest friends on this planet).

Storytime! Jeebsy was so mortified at his performance on the air yesterday that he wouldn't even listen to the end of the show, so he missed Orson saying they needed to have him back. Everybody tell him how funny he was, cause apparently the combination of me and the HOST OF THE SHOW is not enough for his delicate sense of self-worth.

Dear Holly- you are my guiding light, my inspiration, the whole reason I called into the radio in the first place. And now I am addicted. So I can't stop, even when (like last night), I talk about a dude "playing both ways" and that I like to "get it on and get it done".

Also, after you snaked our Reagan answer, I was forced to pick women, because I had no backup plan.

No matter how bad the wind, just know this: you will never sound as idiotic as me. We're like the yin and yang of female callers, you and I- you bring the reasoned, funny stuff, and I bring the drunk.

Texy! Thought we'd lost you to the bottle last night.

Soon as I get around to posting my own Rave Reviews in the sidebar a la Jeebsy, that's so going up there.

The funny thing is: I'm not actually drunk every day. Though I'm starting to realize this is what people might think.

Let's talk about the Colts! Can I remind you again that I got to go to both the Chiefs and the Patriots playoff games... whee!

H - How could you share my moment of vulnerability with everyone? What about my persona? Jebus thought he was dripping with awesomesauce. It was Al who thought the call was weak. I think my favorite part was either me saying "uhhhh" 61 times in 4 minutes or the 15th time I talked over the hosts. It was all pretty stellar.

"I think my favorite part was either me saying "uhhhh" 61 times in 4 minutes"

Add in forgetting a person's name so badly somebody had to remind me and you have me at my last fundraising dinner.

Oh Jesus, I just listened to the rebroadcast.

Jebus- you were genius, do not fear. Everyone loved you.

Honey, I asked them to lift you up! Seriously, do we strike you as the kind of people who would lie to feed your ego?

H - it's fine. I may not have Pete's velvety voice, or you and Texy's sexy accents, but I have a boner story for every outfit, and nobody can take that away from me.

Thanks, Texy. Good to know the Maker's didn't, you know, kill you.

Hank - if you talk like you type, I would empty my wallet to hear you speak brother.

I'm a good speaker... when prepared, I'm a bad MC. My memory wasn't built to remember names.

...which explains why you call me Tickle Stab.

Well it doesn't help when you can't settle on one Holly/Magnolia/Maggie May/Stabby Maggie/tickle stab.

But yeah, I'm one of those guys that gives everybody a nickname, which as I remember you contemplated making your commenting name.

And do you have draft fever yet?

I do! Feel my forehead!

A word to those new to the fake email game: If you put your website in as well, other commenters can't see your email address. So leave the URL box blank if you want anyone but me to have the laugh. You're all blogrolled anyway, so no worries there.

comment #40! I am all that is man! What have I won?

Hank, I hope this is all right to share. I thought it was priceless:

"And I think Hawles' blog is awesome, if a little bewildering; but only because she talks in a Nell language with her friends."

SHMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

(like that, you mean?)

Well I'm relived you thought it was priceless, and not say stabworthy.

Was Dave DeSpain in the windtunnel with you?

Dammit, I should've thought of that. +1