Snarkastic

PHIL STEELE WILL FUCK YOU IN THE BRAIN AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.

I....No words. Just....no WORDS.

Well, two: PHIL MOTHERFUCKING STEELE.

I feel bathed in white light, and filled with humility, and I have never wanted a post-coital cigarette so badly in my life.

Managed, in between hyperventilating and trying to steady my vision, to excerpt some of our reactions to THE MAN THE MYTH THE ALMIGHTY. Attn: Swindle: You were right. We were not ready.

KanuDawg: Drunken prayer to the Stelle tiki doll thrice daily
TheGoldfishCowboy: Phil Steele calls himself interesting in the third person... incredible
MissManticore: TGC, he can totally get awayt with it, too.

HOST PB: I want him to be my grandpa. Now.
that5ohguy: Jesus, more?
BrianM: anyone got Bio on this guy

Jerkwheat: Phil Stelle was born of the stars 1.6 billions years ago

robertg: phil steele was the inspiration for the game katamari diamacy

HOST PB: Phil Steele is big on Phil Steele this year. I don't blame him. Strong take.

maskedavenger: Too much information, head exploding
FuckSU: Orson, PROVOKE PHIL TO TEARS, PLEASE.
MissClare: this guy is money

Raskolnikov: I'm paralyzed
HOST PB: I am so upset at myself - my quiz is too easy. How did I doubt him.
Jerkwheat: I am aligning my thetans and
Jerkwheat: i think i'm going to stroke out

BrianM: hes on cruise control
HOST OrsonSwindle: The mustache gives him power
swampchomp: he's got lungs like an opera singer
RaginCajunRebel: we breathe for him

MissManticore: HOW DO I ARGUE WITH PHIL STEELE.
wooderson: The matrix is falling apart
BrewsterCrew: The ebays can't handle Phil Fucking Steele.
MissManticore: It's LIKE WE ALREDY LOST
MissManticore: I mean, I'm scared of Cal this year, but hearing him say I should be scared is so much worse.

HOST OrsonSwindle: HOW DOES HE REMEMBER THAT
Jerkwheat: Orson, Phil is not to be understood by us

FuckSU: Steele knows his shit
HOST OrsonSwindle: He has an extra hard drive
BrewsterCrew: My brain is full.

DisgruntledGoat: Don't make demands of God
HOST PB: I feel fucking stupid.
HOST OrsonSwindle: My god
MissManticore: I CAN"T HEAR FAST ENOUGH

CREW SeanThomas: can't. compute. overload.
Jerkwheat: should.have.sent.a.poet
KanuDawg: no- he talks in words
MissManticore: Should.have.sent.twel.ve.poets

JohnF: I'm sure Steele could preach one fucking good sermon.
MissManticore: IS THERE A COURT REPORTER IN THE HOUSE?

RaginCajunRebel: can you imagine a conversation with him and keith jackson? my face would fucking MELT

Raskolnikov: I'm stuck to the wall
JebusHChrist: i cant move
washeed-neutwon: phill steele makes me hat

HOST OrsonSwindle: I'd say bye Joshua but I'm being mindfucked
washeed-neutwon: overload
Jerkwheat: Phil will greet us all in heaven
washeed-neutwon: forgetting things i already know
kleph001: lets set a base camp here and launch the final assault tomorrwo
Cocoman25: And this is dude's 14th interview of the day. Just imagine what he was like on No. 1
wooderson: the internet can't keep up!
BurritoBrosShits: HOLYSHIT HOW MUCH INFORMATION?????
wooderson: Phil Steele is our only hope to defeat SKyNet

Yostal: How does he possibly remember this?
BrianM: droid*
JohnF: Steele is the reason I stick to hockey

MissManticore: I believe in intelligent design now
BrewsterCrew: Who on ESPN could dream of doing this?
BurritoBrosShits: Steele is the MAtrix
MissManticore: It all makes sense.
maskedavenger: Pete - ESPN's demographics don't want this - losers
JebusHChrist: and the tears were shaped like footballs

barstoolio: I want to be a better person.
Jerkwheat: Steeletology is the new religion
washeed-neutwon: i beleive in steele design
kleph001: steele IS a priori
Yostal: Iconoclasts: Phil Steele and Chuck Norris
wooderson: Steele makes Agents run

RaginCajunRebel: the girl that types in his freshman stuff? phil's got it ALL

wooderson: Can phil steele create a stat so complex that even he cannot understand it?

HOST PB: Heart. Thumping.
kleph001: his final prophecy is being witheld by the vatican
Jerkwheat: Phil put Stephen in that wheelchair

washeed-neutwon: phill steele is the number 42

PeteJayhawk: College football happens in Phil's mind....it's not actually reality.

HOST OrsonSwindle: I can't move, Stockman
Raskolnikov: so he's Descartes?
HOST OrsonSwindle: But I'll try
BurritoBrosShits: Jeusu how the fuck does he know all this shit?
FuckSU: Who the fuck talks like this?

MissManticore: I feel exactly like I did the first time I dropped acid
MissManticore: only serene
JebusHChrist: we're not on acid?
barstoolio: It's like he's cradling me with his mind.
maskedavenger: He is fitting in 3 hours in 30 minutes.

BrianM: hed be good to sit next to at a game
RaginCajunRebel: Words cannot express what is going on right now. I feel...different

BurritoBrosShits: If steele goes on vacation the earth stops spinning
barstoolio: This is like riding a unicorn.
HOST PB: SMQ just called: "I know nothing."
PeteJayhawk: This is like an entire planet of unicorns.
LenBiasCocaine: how many numbers have been said in the last 10 minutes?
JebusHChrist: phil steele was born on christmas
stockman: oh my, the man is GOD
MissManticore: oh god, it's like Last Crusade
MissManticore: THE PENITENT MAN SHALL PASS
JebusHChrist: and new years

washeed-neutwon: he is going to make your quiz look ike fingur painting
MCab: He lafs at this

swampchomp: FTWWWWWWWWW

DomerGuy: wtf is the sunbelt
swampchomp: i can't name a goddamn team in the sunbelt
JohnF: It's a conference
ToddlyKSU: Memphis?

The Quiz:
Classof2007: oh shit
stockman: uh oh
jakldawg: freaking hell man.
Raskolnikov: Antonio Daniels?
washeed-neutwon: hooly fucking shit
JohnF: Wait!
BrianM: hahahaha
DomerGuy: he's looking it up!!!!
FutureExMrTexasGal: HELLO MR ANDERSON
BrewsterCrew: lmfao
Classof2007: oh shit here it comes
HOST OrsonSwindle: Peter you have been pwned
BrianM: this guy is sick
KanuDawg: wave the white towel
barstoolio: What are balls?
TheHobnailedBoot: totally
BurritoBrosShits: Wtf bowling green?
ThePowerTDoug: I am a Phil Steele minion!
KanuDawg: just give up dude
kleph001: no way, i've gone gay for him first TG
swampchomp: the partridge family!
JohnF: Korey or Cory?
JebusHChrist: it doesnt matter now
BrianM: hes like "fuck you the JV water boy is Johnson Spinx"
BurritoBrosShits: corey partridges?
FutureExMrTexasGal: MOTHERFUCKER
eDayStat: WOW
stockman: Phil = IBM super computer
CREW SeanThomas: uh oh
BDocXX: uh oh
DisgruntledGoat: marry me in massachusetts, phil
MissManticore: ONLY A LEAP FROM TEH LIONS HEAD
HOST PB: I may have him!
KanuDawg: Ask him if he will play chess against IBM Deep Blue
jawjagirl: uhoh....
BurritoBrosShits: omg he doesnt know!!!
MCab: He is the wehrmacht
a5ehren: that's too easy
PeteJayhawk: Ooooooh
Raskolnikov: oh no
FutureExMrTexasGal: +1 BILLION PHIL STEELE
kleph001: and he will stay your hand.
swampchomp: c'mon phil!
a5ehren: woot
Sparkyjbd: oh no
robertg: noooooooooooooooooooo
BrewsterCrew: Oh no....
eDayStat: OH!
PeteJayhawk: He's TOYING with you.
BrianM: WOW
JohnF: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Raskolnikov: what the fuck
swampchomp: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
kleph001: the man earns a pass.
MCab: Now I don't believe in Santa
Yostal: He chose, wisely
washeed-neutwon: you stumped the steele
TexasGal: PETER PWNED PHIL
Jerkwheat: john bond jovi
JebusHChrist: snap!!
FutureExMrTexasGal: I HEAR KEY STROKES
PeteJayhawk: ugh
MCab: Never mind the man behind the curtain!
BrianM: achilles heal
JebusHChrist: this makes me feel even stupider
TexasGal: No one gives a shit about Illinois
TheHobnailedBoot: he's going to kill himself now out of shame; thanks guys
RaginCajunRebel: he knew it--he's just too modest to put up 100%
ThePowerTDoug: Steele, APP is a great stat - use it in your mag!
MissManticore: PETER HE'S IN YOUR HOUSE
Jerkwheat: his apologies make me a better person
MissManticore: HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU
DomerGuy: he just did that to give us a reason to live
HOST PB: He's right again
FutureExMrTexasGal: PHIL STEELE DOES NOT APPRECIATE YOUR TRICK QUESTIONS
Jerkwheat: fucking midnight wac games
washeed-neutwon: i think i know this one
BurritoBrosShits: oh no
CREW SeanThomas: soonuva
jawjagirl: the fresno state one
TexasGal: JESUS - he got the Klingler question
RaginCajunRebel: you dead, dawg
FutureExMrTexasGal: MY GOD, MAN
washeed-neutwon: no fucking way
MCab: Like that matters
swampchomp: jesus?
JohnF: Hahahahahahaha
barstoolio: I just made a noise, alone at home.
Raskolnikov: PB is going to put that on his CV
wooderson: Brennan HAs the TD record
kleph001: doomed
MissClare: THIS IS LIKE LOOKING AT THE FACE OF GOD
Sparkyjbd: i love it
washeed-neutwon: if he gets this
washeed-neutwon: start a cult i will jin
swampchomp: wow
BurritoBrosShits: his laugh is a laugh
kleph001: oh my god.
UncleJud: mother fucker
FutureExMrTexasGal: SIREN, BITCHEZ
TheGoldfishCowboy: i quit
Raskolnikov: sorry, I just spewed
BurritoBrosShits: of death
swampchomp: siren's aren't good enough for him
MissManticore: OH MY GOD
TexasGal: PHIL STEELE - PLEASE MARRY ME
Jerkwheat: STEELETOLOGY
MCab: He makes robocop run like a girl
MissClare: HE IS AWEOMSE
JohnF: I want Phil Steele BLOGGING
that5ohguy: The democracy demands an invite!!
stockman: we should all go there and hit that site tonight
barstoolio: THEY DON'T NEED TO WE ARE ASSIMILATED
robertg: oh phil i am already worshipping the ground you walk
MCab: closing porn, putting on philsteele.com
washeed-neutwon: oh the site
DomerGuy: ......Aaaaaaand, I'm spent.
washeed-neutwon: is all i need
Jerkwheat: i just registered Steeletology.wordpress.com
PeteJayhawk: PHIL STEELE INVENTED THE INTERNET
MissManticore: PHILSTEELE NEEDS BLOGGERS
Sparkyjbd: BEST SHOW EVER!!

The Aftermath:
barstoolio: WE ARE SPENT
Jerkwheat: i need quiet time
BurritoBrosShits: RCR, just say fuck a lot
FutureExMrTexasGal: i need a drink

MCab: Phil Steele is nexus 6
ThePowerTDoug: Don't blasphemize
sexygurl64: sup everybody?
JohnF: What?
KanuDawg: Go towel off Swindle
washeed-neutwon: steele knows what you used to have in your pocket
Raskolnikov: Phil Steele pwns Obi Wan
BrianM: see thats why he's single, he knows about all the women's dark secrets
Classof2007: Nick Saban has time for Phil Steele
robertg: phil has evolved beyond friends
barstoolio: He doesn't need porn.
Classof2007: he has plenty of time for phil steele
paulwesterdawg: he f-in dictates the whole f-ing mag!
eDayStat: you think Steele reads sports almanacs when they call for the stunt cock
kleph001: just like fucking milton.
MissManticore: Phil Steele magazine is a documentary
MissManticore: and was shot in real time
JohnF: It's not a fucking magazine - a TOME OF KNOWLEDGE
barstoolio: There was no film in the camera but it was captured anyway
BrianM: Phil Steele is a noun for awesome
kleph001: i want you to know, my neighbors are VERY confused right now
MCab: "there is no Dana, only PHil Steele!"

MCab: *hits helmet, pads*
BrewsterCrew: I think Phil Steele should be followed by some Pink Floyd.
BurritoBrosShits: Phil Steele is MCP from Tron
MCab: Phil Steele has a crystal skull
washeed-neutwon: phil steele has no scull
kleph001: laws, the vapors
washeed-neutwon: a skull implies a limit
BrianM: Holly, holding on tight to the floor
MCab: Phil Steele would delete Tron
Jerkwheat: STEELETOLOGY WILL SAVE US ALL

PeteJayhawk: I need a cigarette.
NicoRBR: This is my first time listening...i like how much the word "fuck" is used on this show
swampchomp: phil steele stole my sperm
FutureExMrTexasGal: IM IN THIS BITCH WITH THE TERROR~
MCab: Phil Steele has the power of Grayscull
Thomas1: lets go the 25 yard line and start this baby over
wooderson: This show is their pinnacle
BurritoBrosShits: phil steele needs no books
washeed-neutwon: no phil steele is optimusprime other form
LenBiasCocaine: Stephen Hawking
kleph001: without the speak and spell

MissManticore: Did you notice
MissManticore: how like halfway through steele
MissManticore: half the people in here switched to bold and all caps

DCTrojan: what up Kanu
KanuDawg: We're all seriously post-coital after Steele
KanuDawg: is was quite a session
MissManticore: Yeah, I feel like a baby deer
DCTrojan: I got about 5 minutes of it - steele-us interruptus
TexasGal: Steele fucking rocked my world
KanuDawg: I need to be cuddled with . stat

Posted by Nastinchka at July 17, 2007 06:17 PM