Snarkastic

I can't imagine what if anything could eat you alive.

Well I can, but it isn't LA.

Congrats. Isn't knowing you possess the basic character ingredients for survival, never mind thriving, nice?

I bet someone's told you this already, but the real victory is when you finally make it out of L.A. (Note: I love my native city, but I was never happier than being able to leave.)

This was never a final destination for me. There's not enough trees. But to do what I do, you pretty much have to come here first. It's like Yoshi's House in Super Mario World. Only filthy.

I can't speak for all natives, but I've always viewed it more as a nicer-looking Ghost House. Gotta get through 'em, happy as hell to get out. Everyone asks me if I want to go back someday and I tell them I like trees and seasons.

Hooray! One year down, and that much closer to total world domination.

Congrats. Life's an odd thing, ain't it?

Holls you can have my health insurance. I pay for it every month and never use it.... If you're real good I might add you to my plan then you could have all the health type things you could ask for.

This time next year, can you be writing from my bachelorette party? 'Cause the wedding's the next day, and we could use some porn stars at the affair.
Seriously, though, save the date. If you're not available then, maybe you could at least make it to the Zombie Kitten Shower. There's a bag of tuna and braiiin flavored pillow mints in it for you.
Continuing compliments on the rack and your general overall prettiness.

Here we go again. I knew sending y'all off to them artsy hippie pinko schools would result in you getting MARRIED ON FOOTBALL SATURDAYS I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS.*

*I would not miss the Zombie Kitten shower for anything, including my own wedding. I remember it like it was yesterday... [cue flashbacks]

Congrats on it being a year, but it is living downtown that causes you to miss trees. Join me up in the Hills with the wildlife!

Ya know, after I posted that I got this sinking feeling I'd forgotten something...then I checked the 2008 schedule. The dilemma is now do I go for the 13th on which the Vawls are on a break, or the 27th, when they're at Auburn?

13th! No footbawl AND future horror-themed anniversaries when it falls on a Friday.

(Seriously, zombie kitten shower? Will that be that week as well? Because I am SO THERE. With bells on. Literally.)

Ah, something will come up to create ripples in the pool of your serenity. I'm slightly jealous that you actually know what you want to do at 25; at 36 I suspect that my kids already know that I'm totally faking it.

I loved living in LA when I did, but have no interest in going back. About the only thing I miss is the absence of trees, I can't get used to not being able to see anything in the east because of all the bloody trees.