All right, if I hadn't come home off four straight hours of drinking and arguing color theory at a work function, I might have gotten around to the actual source of my despair, which is this:
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia apparently just began a new season.
I'm not here to argue the merits of the show (because there are none, and no rational being should entertain statements to the contrary), but if that rancid smugfest is good for anything besides conclusively disproving the existence of a benevolent god, it's this: Anyone can have a hit television show. Why not us?
I didn't mean to suggest for a second that I hate it out here. L.A.'s been good to me. There's no adjective for how lucky I've been from the moment I crossed the city limits.
Here's the thing, though. I've gotten about as far as I can on my own. I've been living solo for going on thirteen months after existing as a piece of a hive mind for two years. And that's fine for work, and that's fine for writing (mostly), but now I have all these pretty words strung together and I can't read what's on these papers scattered all over the loft; it doesn't work like that. So would the eight of you left, and you know who you are, please get your sweet asses out here, stat? I can't do this last part by myself. This story needs a cast, and you're the only cast I'll ever want.
because there are no talented actors in California.
Posted by: Julieanne at September 27, 2007 08:26 AMI don't WANT talented actors, I want YOU.
If you're ever in need of a 9th, let me know. I've always wanted to be on a hit TV show. I was on the news once down here, and I have it on good authority that it was the highest rated news cast EVER.
Posted by: RCR at September 27, 2007 10:23 AMRCR, I completely believe that. Did you head butt someone?
As for the lack of talented actors in Los Angeles: surely a good actor would be able to make some cash just on the curiosity factor alone.
Posted by: DC Trojan at September 27, 2007 12:16 PMPick one to remove from the airwaves and human history forever:
1. Seinfeld
2. Black Donnellys
3. Always Sunny
4. According to Jim
True quandary.
1. Seinfeld just irritates me.
2. Was fun to hate because it's Haggis.
3. Proved that you don't have to be smart, funny, or connected to have a hit F/X series.
4. Just serves to remind us that death knocked for the wrong Belushi.
I'm going with 4.
Posted by: Holly at September 27, 2007 01:09 PMWhat's wrong with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
/ducks
Posted by: Grimey at September 27, 2007 01:11 PMStella: #2, for professional reasons. That show was a scourge that wrecked ratings of late newscasts for months.
#4 for perpetuating the myth that fat, douchebag slobs can get hot wives they don't deserve on television.
Posted by: Signal to Noise at September 27, 2007 01:18 PMNo. Just, no. It's Always Sunny is an abomination. This is not a debate, nor is it a democracy.
Posted by: Holly at September 27, 2007 01:20 PMIs it a cheerocracy?
also, i'll be out in Imperial Beach trying out for the non-existent second season of John/Cincy... you know.. as an extra. California is no place to display talents like what I'm harboring.
Posted by: Grubby at September 27, 2007 02:52 PMis it a cheerocracy?
See, THAT is how you earn points with us. If I don't develop an unhealthy crush on you after that, Livia will once she sees it.
Posted by: Holly at September 27, 2007 02:56 PMWow. I honestly thought I was the only person ever not to love Seinfeld.
Life is a little less empty today.
Posted by: PB at September 27, 2007 03:09 PMHad I been concerned about only having seen Seinfeld from that list, I would not be now. But I wasn't. Concerned, that is.
Posted by: DC Trojan at September 27, 2007 06:16 PMI'm. Not. Alone? I never, ever liked Seinfeld. Not once. Not even Kramer, did I like that much. Never laughed at the Soup Nazi episdoe. Wow. We are all made of the (same hate-filled) stars.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 27, 2007 07:10 PMThat's right. We are all made of the stars. I found out about them on the google, while I was playing with t'internets.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 27, 2007 07:13 PMAnd it's a mark of its bizarre stranglehold on the zeitgeist that you and I have never had this conversation.
(Although, at Momma's insistence, we went to that soup place while in NY. It's delicious.)
Posted by: Holly at September 27, 2007 07:16 PMSorry, Always Sunny is hilarious. Is it genius? No. Funny? Hell yes.
Posted by: Scott at September 27, 2007 09:20 PMIt's neither.
Posted by: Holly at September 27, 2007 09:21 PMYou are all being cheertators and a pain in my ass. (Unhealthy crush? Check. Anyone who can quote the greatest movie of all time with such efficacy is automatically placed on my list of future husbands.)
It boggles my mind that people think this show has anything at all to offer. It is scraping the bottom depths of the barrel that is humanity. It is an open sewer, and you are all walking in and complimenting the design. In fact, the only thing worse than the show itself is the tragic blindness of those who support it.
Aside from its painful unfunniness and cast of talentless fat-asses, the most offensive thing about this show is that it is somehow on the air while Our shot-by-shot remake of Gone With The Wind, filmed during one night when we were huffing Smarties and having a pajama party, languishes in pre-development. Sutekh, smile on us.
Holla!
Posted by: j at September 27, 2007 10:09 PMI liked Seinfeld the first time around. Now not so much, that show has a very short expiration date (apparently in milliseconds for Holly. But that's why we love her, her ability to judge you that quickly.)
Posted by: Hank Scorpio at September 28, 2007 06:17 AMThat's it. I'm packing my avocado peeler and Johnny Pesky autographed "Ted, we finally did it" baseball, and my stuffed dinosaur and I'm moving out there.
I wanna be part of the cast too!
Posted by: J-Money at September 28, 2007 01:49 PMFINALLY.
Posted by: Holly at September 28, 2007 01:50 PMhal hartley said it best: television deadens the inner core of your being.
Posted by: kleph at September 28, 2007 04:25 PM