Snarkastic

I thought that perhaps Dennis Kucinich was missing because he was stuck between the cushions, but it turns out he's left the race.

Actually, I am at a loss to understand why anyone would want the job this time around, talk about being left holding the bag.

Really, you all should be grateful...my utter disgust with all candidates has saved everyone my usual six weeks of EVERYONE VOTE NOW PLZ IZ IMPORTANT!!!1

RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL VOTE RON PAUL

Actually you should just cast a vote for Mike Gravel. That man is buttfucking crazy.

I do wish Mike Gravel were getting more votes, just because he's great television.

I am having the same quandary and made the mistake of telling a politically active friend the other day that it didn't really matter who I voted for, there will be no difference.
Plus, I was totally counting on Fred Thompson, just because there was the possibility that in the White House there would be part of a conversation that went, "son, your average Russian doesn't take a dump without a plan."
Ah, we can always dream.

Nice work, PMR. McCain's daughter is sort of attractive in a trashy sort of way, or as trashy as you can be having gone Ivy.

That settles that, voting for McCain.

(Unless Romney pulls a Flutie to Phelan on Super Tuesday.)

I looked up McCain on Wiki. Not only are you right about his daughter Coop, but even better than that he once dated a stripper. That is somebody I can totally relate to. Not because I have dated a stripper mind you but because I totally would have had I ever lived anywhere close to a strip club (freaking Bible Belt) I'm pretty sure Obama and Romney can't top that... although if Hillary could I might rethink things.
Senator McCain, it's looking better for you sir.

I miss centrist McCain. I would've voted him over Kerry without a second thought if I'd had the chance. It's a sobering thought now that he's just another crazy old man.

If I don't vote for Obama, I am a racist. If I don't vote for Clinton, I am a sexist. If I don't vote for McCain, I hate freedom. If I don't vote for Romney, I hate religion.

Result: probable write-in vote for Jeremy Shockey. Wouldn't you love to hear that?! "And coming in with .002 of the vote, Jeremy Shockey, rageaholic sex maniac of the New York Giants."

A vote for Shockey is a vote for progress.

Also, roo re: centrist McCain. He lost me months ago with all his ranting and raving and trying to make himself appealing to the conservative base.

YOU ARE ONTO SOMETHING THERE. I've been racking my brain for acceptable write-ins. Jackpot!

McCain of 2000? THAT was the lesser evil. But setting foot on fucking Liberty University grounds without a torch and a pitchfork is an irredeemable act.

If Shockey were president, not only would abortions be legal, they would be mandatory. If any man besides Shockey impregnated a woman, it would immediately be terminated, kind of like what happens when a new lion takes over the pride.

Similarly, gay marriage would be okayed, but only if Shockey himself was one of the partners, and only if they agreed to perform wifely duties like rubbing his feet and knitting him new armbands.

With Jeremy Shockey as our president, I can guarantee you that our borders would be the safest they have ever been. Shockey himself would patrol the fences and manually decapitate anyone trying to cross in either direction, even legally, even to and from Canada.

Concerned about the economy? No one can stimulate it like Jeremy Shockey!! His supplies of HGH and the rage virus alone should keep America swimming in new trade relationships.

....OMG, he's the new face of Harlowe/Moran.

I think now might be the time for Harlowe/Moran to step forward. Rilly.

Ready when you are. And I'm totally willing to retreat to a Rove-ian role behind the scenes and put him in my Cabinet slot as Secretary of Ultra-Aggression.

I'm writing in for Bill.

Coop, don't fool yourself re: Ivy girls not being trashy. It's just a question of unlocking the sex-positive feminist within and subverting the dominant paradigm of the patriarchy. Of course that requires some ability to let go of the god, guns, and guts persona.

But if hottie-quotient is all that's needed to get your vote, surely Elizabeth Kucinich would do the trick - she does have a tongue stud, after all, and she is, how to put this, a bit more your age.

I'm going to walk a block and vote for Obama with my nose held next Tuesday. (I was an Edwards backer.)

I don't hate Hillary because she's a woman. I hate her because she's a carpetbagger, uses Bill to dish out attacks for her, and thinks being First Lady counts as "experience." All the Republicans are looney. Huckabee loves Jesus too much, McCain likes dumb wars, and Romney is trying to prove he loves Jesus as much as Huckabee and dumb wars as much as McCain.

Centrist McCain never existed. He was just not a religious nut.

No really, there was a Centrist McCain! I saw him once on The Daily Show, dammit. But he got Roved.

Hillary is riding coattails without a plan, and she annoys me with superciliousness. Vote Obama to keep her away, he's got better speechwriters (and this is all just bread and circuses anyway). As an aside, First-Past-the-Post is ruining our country.

Failing that, write in for Centrist McCain.
Failing that, write in for C'thulu.

Side note: I'm also basing preferences on
http://www.popularmechanics.com/geekthevote08
http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html
which might be silly and/or dangerous. But my preference according to the latter should have been Gravel, then Kucinich, Richardson, and Biden, because apparently I'm a total loon. Then Obama, Dodd, Edwards, and Hillary last. Then Ron Paul, then all the Republicans, with New Wingnut McCain at the bottom. So there you go.

A vote for Dole is a vote for pepsi, viagra, and delicious canned fruit!

Obama buuuuugs me. I can't reconcile the "I'm not a politician!!11" platform with him arriving in the Senate and immediately running for president.

[sits back, folds hands, waits patiently to be told by wide-eyed 18-30 year olds that he's JFK reborn.]

So cynical for one so young, Holly.

DC,

I am 26.

Oh, I might seem crusty and angry like a 50 year old man with a wife I hate and two God awful children and a couple of mortgages, you don't have to pay for shit when you're dead!!!, and a couple of 7s in the driveway, and a massive prostate...

but I am 26.

Scary, I know.

Vote for Orson Swindle. (Either one). One deserves it, and the other would be too much fun.

Semi-seriously, on Obama, his anti-politician shtick is pretty clearly shtick, and shouldn't be taken that seriously. I do think his rush to run for President is mostly because it was pretty clear that he had a decent shot, and who knows if he will 4 or 8 years down the road. OTOH, I'm mostly supporting him as an anti-Clinton matter. (Not anti-Hillary, I don't hate her. I just find the Clintons, mostly Bill, too sleazy.)

DC--I didn't used to be! (See archives: January-March 2004, November 2004, November 2006.) But I think it speaks to the quality of the candidate pool that it's our best chance to Make Things Right in eight years and I just.can't.care.

Yeah, Obama's "change" speech has already worn thin and we're not even out of the conventions yet. I'd like to know what actual "change" means when and if you get to the Oval Office, sir.

Centrist Maverick McCain is a media creation. The difference between the prior McCain-bot and the current upgrade is that a war happened and he went gung-ho for it. Centrist Maverick McCain had the same trickle-down econ BS and pro-lifer beliefs that he does now.

Wingnut McCain vs. Hillary would be an interesting contest to see which party's base would be repelled most by the match-up. Fundies hate McCain, but do they hate Hillary more?

DC, I'm 25 and work in broadcast journalism. I feel no further need to justify my cynicism at this age.

Yes, his voting record was appalling even wwaaaaay back...but a slice of me (from my Daddy's side, obvs) would have preferred that over Kerry.

Coop: Frau Kucinich is only 30, and Dennis can't last forever. Round up, my good man, and laissez les bon temps roulez.

Holly: I can't think of a time when my vote wasn't motivated by fear, anger, boredom, or spite. Welcome to the club.

S2N: People have been accusing me of appalling cynicism since I was 13 and I didn't even have the justification of broadcast journalism... Unfortunately, having children has presented me with a daily reminder of what it's like to look at the world with excitement and interest, and prompted me to drop the comfortable suburban anomie. Now I vote in the hopes that my candidate will do less damage than the other one. It rarely comes to pass, but dum spiro, spero, as they say.

Holly: when that situation happens, I always think "at least the uninspiring Democrat won't nominate a nutjob to the Supreme Court."

DC: children, always making us look out for something other than our own interest. So inconvenient.

I don't think he has got a chance and I am not saying that anyone should vote for him, but... after reading some on Ron Paul, he definitely has some different ideas. I, for one, am craving something different in Washington. I am a huge fan of the Constitution and it appears that he is as well.I've got a lot of reading to do before Tuesday. Why does someone have to fit in a mold before the media will give them real attention?
Also, why will the comments not remember my personal info when I check "yes".

It's wonky on some browsers.

Re: Ron Paul: He's a medical doctor (an OBGYN, for fuck's sake) who doesn't believe in evolution. And he can't call himself a strict constructionist and try to abolish natural-born citizenship. It's just a soundbite.

Geez!I didn't say he was perfect.
I don't have a problem with the belief of evolution. There are sufficient holes in the both ends of that spectrum for it to be a hinge point with me. I mean, I believe that there is such a thing as evolution; it makes sense that life evolves but I can't believe that we came from monkeys(or amoebas). I have a faith and therefor creation seems possible in that regard... wait a second, not at all where I wanted to go. Although, Holly I do see your occasional references to the Gloria Patri... Episcopal or Presbyterian growing up?? Point is I can see both sides and therefore could go with a good candidate from either viewpoint.
As far as natural-born citizenship I agree, but the main points in his immigration (and foreign) policy I fundamentally agree with. I think I am trying to convince myself more than anyone. I'm just sick of business-as-usual in DC.

This is why I hate mixing politics with football. Free eexchange of ideas is encouraged in the latter around here, but the former, nnnnnot so much.

Of course, I'm about to post something that does just that, but I think you'll all like it.

Oh, and close--Presbyterian Daddy (Cumberland Pres, natch) and Catholic Momma.

Holly, don't be so quick to dismiss the end of citizenship by birth - imagine the hilarity of everyone having to re-apply. I'd certainly like to see any of the yahoos who've given me shit about being an immigrant sweating their way through a spot-test on US civics.

Picture Me Rollin: I'm sorry to be so blunt, but IM(not remotely humble)O anyone who has even a hint of scientific training - which with a certain generosity of spirit could include doctors - and doesn't accept micro- and macro- evolution fails.

I'm not talking about the origin of life, here, because you're getting into the realm of proving something before anything, and because you can neither demonstrate nor disprove (quantitatively) the existence of a deity as a creator. Rather, I'm talking about verifiable fossil and DNA data that support a robust (not flawless) scientific theory.

It would be a bit like a lawyer who takes an oath to uphold the Constitution and then provides legal opinions which directly contradict separation of powers, executive oversight, etc.

Oh.

Never mind.

Okay, I love you guys, but let's not get drawn into a political debate. We all clearly have very different ideas, and should not spend the next ten months trying to defend ourselves and convert each other. Instead, let's just talk about something that I think we can all agree on: I am 99% certain that Mike Huckabee is actually one of the crab people. Discuss.

The citizenship thing isn't necessarily a hangup for me either--just the most glaring example of his lying liarhood when he blusters about protecting the Constitution. Which, y'know, was meant to be an adaptable document in the first place, but--CRAAAAB PEOPLE CRAAAAB PEOPLE

The system works!!

Mike Huckabee 2008: Taste Like Crab, Talk Like People.

Agreed that drawn out political debate is not that appealing but... 'tis the season. Plus I have read enough on here to know that everyone (that I have seen to this point) is intelligent enough that I can hear their insights and not be offended. Not saying this should become a venue for politics but the relatively high comment count for this topic shows that there is interest, at least at the moment. Point is, I'll go as far as anybody else wants to. Oh and DC, never hesitate to be blunt.

j, believe me I don't have the energy to sustain a political argument for more than 10 minutes never mind 10 months.

I don't know about Huckabee being one of the crab people. I think that of an evening, to recover from the stresses of the campaign trail, he cracks out the bass guitar and engages in a little Country Bear Jamboree cosplay.

Huckabee 2008: America's Future is Furry!

Well, we're all (mostly) buddies despite one another's football teams. Maintaining it despite one another's politics is trickier, but see my new top post (hint!) for the path to the one true America.

Picture Me Rollin, stop being so darn reasonable. I'm feeling guilty now.

I know! I had the same reaction in October, only because he's an Alabama fan!

/trying vainly to cling to beloved prejudices

Hey, I'm fairly new around here. I don't want you thinking I'm a jackass. Get to know me and then truly understand that I'm a jackass.
Trust me Holly, I watched the Alabama-Tennessee basketball game the other night. Hate is still alive and well on this end. I didn't think about it before the game; I just started watching it and was like "damn, I fucking hate Tennessee. You go to hell Bruce Pearl, you go to hell and you die!"

Change the names and I was saying the same thing back in October. Only between "Nick" and "Saban", I added a few words.

We are all connected, in the great circle of spite.

More proof that all you truly need is spite to bring people together.

And thank you, DC, for accomplishing the nigh-impossible feat of heightening my twenty years of mortal terror re: The Country Bears.

You're quite welcome. That's the inevitable consequence of letting just anyone post comments here.