Snarkastic

Those colors may not run, but I will... to secure the liquor cabinet.

To say nothing of your women.

If the missus wants to go down the neanderthal path that's up to herself - as long as she takes a shower and rigorous course of antibiotics before returning to the reservation. In the meantime I'm hoping that Shockey's tastes don't run to 3 and 5 year old girls. Eurgh.

I get the feeling he likes them to have a few miles on them. He's an old* soul.

*Like, Lascaux paintings old.

See, pro football (not to mention Shockey). You totally lost me.

Hellooo.

Re: mileage - presumably because no-one takes as much care with a high-mileage chassis. You don't see people doing donuts in a new Lexus. Well, not around here, anyway.

Truly an all-American platform.

I am really proud to be an American right now.

OH MY GOD CAN JEREMY SHOCKEY PLEASE SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM ON SUNDAY?!?!

His arm looks like the rear window of a Ford F-150.

And what's more American than that? QEDMF

More American than a F-150? One of these, plainly.

Hard to run when yer leg broke, eh?

So, naturally, he should make himself useful!

I don't believe all this stuff about the Giants being relieved he won't be on the sideline, because a) if Jeremy Shockey wanted to be on that sideline, no force on this earth or any other could ever stop him and b) the guy is still under contract for next season, and the LAST thing you want is a Shockey who feels he has been wronged in your training camp.