Snarkastic

You found Skeet Ulrich!

The last picture? Is my new wallpaper.

Can't they just assign the douchebags Wes Welker jerseys so we can spot them on sight early?

I thought any male over 20 wearing a jersey was already clearly marked as a douchebag.

Rickus - the jersey suggests baggish tendencies. I've met a few people in sports bars wearing jerseys over the age of 20 who turned out not to be complete douchebags.

It is a warning sign, though.

I'd say they have about a 94% success rate.

H, these are brilliant.

God that's a great set of photos.

As for jerseys, I own a VY Titans #10 and feel no shame at all.

I have a Stokley jersey I enjoy wearing with boycut shorts as trashy pajamas, but something tells me no one has a problem with that.

These should be the illustrations for the "Stages of Grief" chapter in psych texts.

Or distributed as a "How Not to Get Laid" pamphlet.

It's a bit like looking at the thought bubbles over Bill Simmons' head at the same points in the game.

I quote Jay Z: "and I don't wear jerseys, I'm thirty plus"
I could add to that but there would be no point. Oh and I am pretty sure that Clay Travis did make a ruling on men and jerseys and I'm pretty sure that AC is in violation. Fucking Patriots Fans!
[quickly abandons Pats allegiance trumped up for attending Super Bowl party]
In my defense, my only criteria of rooting interest was anti-manning (Eli torched my alma mater for like 2,000 yards).

I would love to know exactly what happened before Stella slapped him in the face. I imagine it to be really similar to the 1997 Orange Bowl.

They're traveling back to Portland today, so I'll answer for her. She was wearing a Shockey jersey, standing by OUR table, laughing uproariously at some Pats misfortune on the teevee, and this guy walks by on the way to the bar, sees her, stops, gets RIGHT up in her face and starts bumping her with his chest, asking her what's so fucking funny. Stella, being Stella, slaps his bitch mouth, and tells him to turn around and watch for his damn self. He straightens his jersey, looks around to see if anyone noticed at HIS table, then walks away. Two minutes later, enter security, bye Stella. Shea was thankfully getting us another round or we'd probably all be in County.

For the record there is no age limit on women in jerseys, only a hotness limit. That's somewhat limited by age, but it varies.

And that is a truly douchetastic story Holly.

jerseys? BAH! cool kids of every age wear EDSBS t-shirts.

Someone has to make up the 6%, PB. You go, boy.

I feel like the acceptability of men wearing jerseys is proportionate to the passionate dedication of the wearer. Like, if I see a forty year old man stumping around Cleveland in a Derek Anderson jersey, but his face is lit up like Christmas and he's excitedly talking about the game to anyone who will listen while his pupils dilate, that's okay. If I see a 21 year old guy talking on an iPhone and spraying Old Spice on himself wearing a Cowboys jersey, I will run him over with my car. Oh, and any person of any age wearing a Wes Welker jersey is a douche.

*ahem*.

Izzactly. Texas fan desperately clinging to the glory of Vince Young to get him through dark days of McCoy? Acceptable. Douche wearing Randy Moss jersey in bar that can't take a punch from a girl? Unacceptable.

I'm back. It happened the way Miss Holly said, only she left out the part where she marched right over to the two owners and told them she'd take all seventeen of us next door if they didn't throw the guy out. This was about the time Shea figured out what was going on, and he managed to close our tab AND get Miss H calmed down and back to the table before we were escorted out. He then scored us excellent bar real estate at the place down the street. This is why I married him.

*ahem*.

Mmm-hm.

This is pure awesome.

And justice.