April 24, 2008
The spite heard 'round the world
Methodism. You call that half-assed sprinkling "baptism"? Our God is an awesome God, but a brahsome God wants your ass in the creek risking parasitic infection or mercury poisoning for His favor. And they do baptize babies, but we all have our trials to bear. Who says the South is a hostile environment for minorities?
The combined loathing of Georgia by Florida and Tennessee fans, properly applied, could vaporize a small planet. Today, the EDSBS staff trains our spite rays on a shared target. The explosion will be of extraordinary magnitude.
The beginning, the beginning, the beginning of our story drops today in full bloom, hitting what I honestly believe to be its contempt zenith, with Stuff Red And Black People Like. Amado mio, motherfuckers.
That's pretty effin' funny.
Posted by: Three-N-Out at April 24, 2008 11:09 AMNeed to put some tiny blue jorts on that guy in the dangly state.
Posted by: Alex at April 24, 2008 11:28 AMI tried to give him a fauxhawk, but MS Paint is a bit unwieldy for fine work.
Posted by: Holly at April 24, 2008 11:30 AMI'd be more inclined to chuckle if I wasn't almost 100-percent positive you're going to put this same stuff in our wedding vows.
Posted by: Doug at April 25, 2008 09:11 AMDo you promise to love, honor, obey, and not wear red pants to bed?
Posted by: Holly at April 25, 2008 10:28 AM