Summer reruns, original cast. Sounds like a happy medium, but is really just an excuse to repost this one, over and over.
Holly: I did a search for 'penis brittle', and I got back 'How to Field dress a deer'.
'Box: that is very
'Box: very
'Box: strange
Holly: Also one that simply says 'fish'.
'Box: Chuck tried to give me the soundtrack to Rocky IV on vinyl tonight. I wouldn't accept it, and he got really pissed off
Holly: And 'Yeast infections'.
'Box: what search enginge?
Holly: HAHAHA
'Box: I think I hurt his feelings
'Box: he found it in the free bin at a record store and thought I'd like it for some reason
'Box: I turned him down
Holly: "The Church of Euthanasia Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption"
'Box: penis brittle?
Holly: Yeah, I'm going to try other engines.
'Box: I'm searching on google now
'Box: So far I've gotten planned parenthood sites
Holly: Hm.
'Box: nothing as interesting on google
'Box: I'm going to Yahoo
Holly: ''Gourds'.
Holly: 'Gourdiculture'.
'Box: same shit
'Box: weird
'Box: I'm going to AskJeeves
Holly: "What's up with my penis?"
'Box: ok, aol gives you the funky results
'Box: Aesthetic Realism, Eli Siegel, and 'The Sanity of Poetry'
Holly: I still like the deer one.
'Box: yeah
Holly (23:40:00): Tonight's Crossballs question: Should women be banned from driving SUVs?
Joan (23:40:31): My response would be "women should only be allowed to drive buggies, and that's only if they're topless"
Rhys (14:03:25): would you say that i have been known to dress provocatively to attract the attention of the opposite sex?
Holly (14:03:41): I dunno if 'provocative' is the right word.
Rhys (14:03:44): i would say more to ward off predators that are afraid of bright, contrasting colors
Holly (14:03:58): Well, I guess it is, but I think they mean sexual, not like A Peacock.
Joan (15:29:11): who shoots a sea lion in the head!?!
Holly (15:29:17): Kristina.
Joan (15:29:23): so mean. it's not like it was a giraffe
Joan (15:30:51): Cleary B____ is responsible.
Holly (15:30:56): yes.
Joan (15:31:36): the next time i see her, i'll bestow her with a scathing glance and hiss "What kind of sick bitch shoots a poor defenseless sea lion in the head?"
Joan (15:31:44): ...then just turn and walk away
Holly (15:32:08): You MUST
Joan (15:32:41): wouldn't that be great? "B____, pass the salt. And by the way, you really should leave those sea lions alone"
Holly (15:32:51): DO IT.
Holly (15:33:03): Just keep dropping it in conversation and never, ever tell anyone what it was about.
Holly (15:33:14): And if you ever have the unfortunate duty of introduce her to anyone
Holly (15:33:24): Make sure the person with you knows to say "Oh, the sea lion girl"
Holly (15:33:27): when they meet
Joan (15:33:33): this is B____, the sea lion killer
Holly (15:22:01): I actually knocked myself down. It was great.
'Bus (15:22:24): I find this choreography disturbing
Joan (15:25:37): if you come to the concert i want you to sit in the front row so i can see your face as i struggle to maintain composure while the alto bitches around me fail miserably to maintain rhythm. they really suck.
Joan (15:26:11): its shameful.
Holly (15:26:24): I would imagine so.
Joan (15:26:50): i am embarrased by the fact that i have to participate in this. they really make me look bad.
Holly (15:26:59): What do you have to wear?
Holly (15:27:08): Please say it involves A Vest.
Holly (15:27:17): Or A Petticoat.
Joan (15:28:30): No, a hideous shapeless black frock that resembles what a decomposed body left in the sun might look like.
Holly (15:28:46): I could capture a live peacock
Holly (15:28:50): And let it loose in the wings
Holly (15:28:56): And it would just wander out on stage
Holly (15:29:09): Wouldn't that make things better?
Joan (15:30:24): Undoubtedly
Rhys (17:05:05): there is a god
Rhys (17:05:08): and he likes very small cakes
Joan (19:26:31): i can't stop quoting shakespeare. i've become That Girl in the english department who wears a fez and a long skirt made of clumps of grass who quotes Steinbeck when she opens a door.
Joan (19:27:18): are you writhing?
Holly (19:27:23): Lil bit
'Bus (06:21:53): Are you sleeping?
'Bus (06:22:13): Who shall entertain me while I feed?
Holly (06:23:03): Not yet.
Holly (06:23:19): *with weak smile, produces dancing monkey*
'Bus (06:23:33): Lol
Holly (06:23:35): *and tiny pair of cymbals*
Joan (12:14:29): i support that.
Joan (12:16:38): much like this new bra supports my rack in an interesting and heretofore impossible way.
Joan (12:18:10): This "Bianca Blue" is the Frank Lloyd Wright of the bra world.
Holly (12:18:37): It's built on the side of a mountain?
Joan (12:19:55): And made of chrome & glass
'Box: I just realized something
Holly: ?
'Box: AIM needs an emoticon for the world's smallest fiddle playing for no audience
Holly: You're right.
'Box: Just a tiny fiddle
'Box: that'd be great
Joan (19:25:12): "Seth Green Caught in Near-Fatal Incident on Movie Set"?!?!?!?!?!? FIRST JOHN RITTER AND NOW THIS. PENNYWISE IS MAKING HIS WAY THROUGH THE CAST OF IT.
Holly (19:25:21): I KNOW!!!
Holly (19:25:23): I SAW!!
Holly (19:25:27): It was a whirlpool
Holly (19:25:31): DID WE CALL THIS OR WHAT??
Holly (19:25:39): WE SAID IT WAS GONNA BE HIM
Joan (19:25:47): "He jumped into a tide pool that he couldn't get out of and almost got sucked under a rock...[by a fucking CLOWN ARM]"
Joan (19:27:09): Why couldn't it have been Annette O'Toole? You know how Pennywise is going to get her. She and Michael McKean are going to be innocently writing a song together about rainbows or puppies or rainbow-colored puppies and he's just going to turn into the fucking clown and eat her face off.
Holly (19:28:08): We have to warn her. Get your coat.
Joan (19:28:29): WARN her? We should try to get the film rights.
Joan (19:29:06): "Annette O'Toole perishes in bloodbath: Masses question, 'Who? No, wait...Peter's wife? Oh, his daughter. Right."
In which Spawn becomes an American Goddamn Hero by turning down her delegate slot to spend the summer dancing in The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas.
Spawn (17:26:35): Also? Girls' State. Week before tech week. Gotta figure that one out somehow
Holly (17:27:09): how many times do I tell you you're not doing Girls State before you begin to believe.
Spawn (17:27:32): I'm hoping to kinda pocket veto it by never sending my forms in.
Spawn (17:27:40): Oh How I Hate Girls.
Holly (17:28:15): Tell the TRUTH!! WOuldn't that be great?
Holly (17:28:26): "I'm sorry, I've accepted a position as a Stage Prostitute".
Holly (17:28:44): "I've never been pregnant or had a baby, but this is close enough, right?"
Holly (17:28:54): And you can stsill put "accepted as a delegate" on your resume.
Spawn (17:29:33): It's fun, it ..... I can't carry this joke.
Joan (15:03:22): Ein Fisch, zwei fischen, rote Fische, blaue Fische. Dieses hat einen kleinen Hut. Dieses hat eine kleine Katze. PONYBOY.
Joan (19:20:10): I think I need to see it again, and without drinking three margaritas beforehand so this time I don't shriek "MONSTER BEHIND YOU HE BEHIND YOU RUN BITCH" at a crucial point in the film.
Holly (15:10:53): so i may or may no hae just glues my left hand to my laptop
Caesar (15:10:58): lol
Caesar (15:11:01): LOL
Holly (15:11:01): hence the lack of shift keys and punctuation
Caesar (15:11:11): AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Holly (15:11:13): NOT FUNNNNU\Y
Caesar (15:11:26): yeah, it really is
Holly (15:11:29): :-(
Holly (15:11:32): OW
Holly (15:11:38): HEZLZP
Caesar (15:11:42): did you get it off?
Holly (15:11:44): NO
Caesar (15:11:55): use nail polish remover
Holly (15:12:01): BUT I FOUND THE CAPS LOCK
Holly (15:12:22): OWOWOWOOWOWOW
Caesar (15:13:10): NAIL POLISH REMOVER
Caesar (15:13:14): GO
Holly (15:13:30): I WILL HAVE TO CARRY THE LAPTOP
Caesar (15:13:38): and...?
Holly (15:13:43): AND WORK A COTTON BALL AND A SCREW OFF LID WITH ONE HAND
Holly (15:13:52): UT'S BEST AND BRIGHTEST
Caesar (15:14:03): well, what are you waiting for
Holly (15:14:04): THIS WILL BE A MERRY JAUNT
Caesar (15:14:12): it's that or stay glued
Holly (15:14:22): YES, IT IS.
Caesar (15:15:21): at least it's not a table:-D<----add horns
Auto response from Holly (15:15:21): ;kjkh;ioiupuohj;'lkcaryinglaptop to bathroom clost don't ask pls advise
Holly (15:20:20): GOD.
Caesar (15:20:49): how 'boutcha?
Caesar (15:20:56): is it off?
Holly (15:21:00): Yes.
Holly (15:21:04): Along with some skin.
Caesar (15:21:23): yeah, i thought it best not to tell you that part
Holly (15:21:54): The nail polish remover dinna work. I had to rip.
Holly (15:22:01): OW.
Caesar (15:22:02): ahhhh
Holly (15:22:13): aaaand....scene.
Joan (11:45:28): ok do you remember the weird erotic discovery channel show where they build two metal representations of animals and make them fight?
Joan (11:45:50): they're doing the hippo/shark episode again, and the scientists who are backing the animals are sniping at each other but you can totally tell they are doing it
Caesar: so now you want a DEAD one?
Joan : If no one loves me enough to buy me a 600 dollar buffalo calf that i can raise as my own child and name "Bettina", then yes, I'll settle for a fur I can cuddle in and reminisce about the majestic buffalo.
Holly (21:18:50): You're an example to us all.
Joan (21:19:02): I know.
Joan (21:21:34): if i buy a buffalo hoof wind chime will you let me hang it on our balcony
Holly (21:31:15): NO.
Joan (21:31:34): John doesn't understand the majestic legacy of the buffalo.
Holly (21:31:54): He's a cowboy. He'll learn.
Joan (21:31:49): If I buy a 350 dollar buffalo head, can I hang it in MY room?
Holly (21:31:57): ......yes?
Joan (21:32:02): And call it O'Malley, and ask it for advice?
Holly (21:32:20): Ok, now we're treading into danger.
Joan (21:33:06): You can trust him.
Holly (21:33:15): CORE BREACH IMMINENT
Joan (21:33:55): You know, O'Malley said you'd be jealous.
Holly (21:34:08): I can trust....the buffalo head?
Joan (21:34:10): I'm writhing right now by the way
Joan (21:34:43): yes.
Holly (21:35:15): .....i'm frightenend.
Joan (21:35:17): i think i'm just going to get the buffalo pillow.
Holly (21:35:28): Good! This is a good choice.
Joan (21:35:48): but i am still going to call the pillow o'malley and ask it for advice
Holly (21:36:08): .....I can't believe how sane that sounds.
Holly: I was driving to work
Holly: And outside the Nuclear Safety Commission building
Holly: Were three clowns standing by a pickup truck.
Holly: No lies.
Caesar: LOL
Holly: I mean, we're talking wigs, full makeup, shoes, everything.I almost ran off the road.
Holly (17:37:18): Things can't stay in this stasis forever. I wonder what the final catalyst will be that brings this whole mess to its inevitable bloody climax.
Joan (17:38:58): I envision a fight with him leaving a flaming bag of dog poo on your front steps which chuckling "that will show her", and you standing outside his house with a flamethrower and a contentedly glazed look in your godless eyes.
Posted by Nastinchka at May 5, 2008 06:49 AM