Snarkastic

Laff Riot 72: And all the gems of Araby

3:23:52 PM Joan: I FOUND OUR WEDDING INVITATIONS
3:51:17 PM Joan: some things are meant to be.
3:51:36 PM Holly: Astonishing.
3:52:14 PM Joan: Seriously, design your own fruit rolls ups? Why don't they just put a nuclear warhead in my hands?
3:52:41 PM Holly: Biohazard-themed fruit snacks!

10:24:03 AM PB: I seriously need a clicker with a hissing button. I mean, I can't actually hiss at someone. But I'd use a hissing clicker.
10:24:15 AM Holly: It is now my life's mission to find you one.
10:24:24 AM Holly: (And not just because I want one too.)
10:25:05 AM PB: How great would that be? Just point it at 'em like they're a garage. Click: "HISSSSSS!"

10:36:32 AM Holly: I pledge allegiance
10:36:35 AM Holly: To David Cutcliffe
10:36:39 AM Holly: World without end, amen.
10:36:48 AM Swindle: That was an asshole route
10:37:25 AM Swindle: You call it, it happens, and the only thing you can say afterwards is "you asshole."
10:37:14 AM Holly: It was perfectly fair because it was Foster, giving Kentucky a better than even chance he'd cough it up.
10:37:30 AM Swindle: That's true

2:28:39 PM Momma: it comes in charcoal and "dark claret"
2:29:09 PM Holly: the heck is "claret"?
2:29:16 PM Momma: WINE
2:31:02 PM Holly: I thought claret was a musical instrument
2:31:20 PM Momma: that's what we called it in the coal camp holler
2:31:24 PM Momma: when I was in the band
2:31:31 PM Momma: as one of the "damn bunch cows"
2:31:36 PM Holly: bunch damn devil cow
2:31:55 PM Momma: ah yes, the very best version of his curse collection
2:31:55 PM Holly: (I have combined his rants into one portable insult)

11:15:12 AM Joan: Vanderbilt-Florida is being brought to me by Summer's Eve Cleansing Cloths. Enjoy Being A Woman!!
11:24:00 AM Joan: Full of chicken and football venom.

7:52:33 AM Holly: I didn't see it last night
7:52:45 AM Holly: not thinking to check in the sink for intruders

8:05:43 PM Spawn: I love you
8:05:44 PM Holly (Autoreply): You make love like a peasant. No, in a bad way.
8:05:46 PM Spawn: legit I'm about to cry over here
8:58:31 PM Spawn: you will also laugh at all the horrible expressions I have picked up this year.
8:58:45 PM Holly: Yeah, that "legit" thing has to go.
8:59:23 PM Spawn: and that's the least of them!

11:50:12 AM Bella: I stare at my computer blankly 79% more since I met him.

4:40:22 PM Holly: REMEMBER MY PENGUIN PRESENT?
4:40:26 PM Holly: WHEN YOU PET ITS NOSE
4:40:28 PM Holly: IT CHIRPS
4:40:37 PM JHC: Like you!
4:40:45 PM Holly: AND SHOWS ITS MOOD THROUGH A SIGNAL OF FLASHING LED LIGHTS
4:40:49 PM Holly: which is less like me.

7:48:10 PM Joan: WTF
7:48:30 PM Holly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
7:52:01 PM Holly: IS THIS SONG REALLY PLAYING
7:52:10 PM Joan: i know
7:52:24 PM Joan: norv turner is just a city girl
7:52:27 PM Joan: living in a lonely world
7:52:28 PM Holly: It would have been awesomerr if Norv had been assassinated and the song just stopped.

3:08:08 PM PB: In taking my chicken nuggets out of the oven, I discovered that they're shaped like dinosaurs.
3:09:41 PM Holly: SERIOUSLY?
3:10:07 PM PB: I know, right? And though it technically shouldn't bear on the taste of the nuggets themselves, it inevitably will.

10:19:45 PM Holly: Sorry, darlin'. I'm not in this rollerderby, and I should not have thrown that elbow.
10:19:53 PM Holly: (look, new metaphor! shiny!)

11:24:14 AM Swindle: Want to know what's awesome?
11:24:42 AM Swindle: Posting a homoerotic picture of Aggies behaving homoerotically, and watching every texas board on the planet home in in twenty minutes
11:28:26 AM Holly: [fetches popcorn]
11:28:55 AM Swindle: It's like putting out leftovers and watching the raccoons swarm

9:58:38 PM JHC: I was annoyed when I got the first email, but as the day went on, I got more and more pissed.
9:59:01 PM JHC: Glad it wasn't just me over-reacting.
9:59:56 PM Holly: Um, noes.
10:00:09 PM JHC: You know how I get.
10:00:29 PM Holly: But this is not one of those times.
10:01:23 PM JHC: You're so smart and it's only through your vision that I can see when I'm right.
10:01:32 PM Holly: You are SO RIGHT
10:01:44 PM JHC: I know, cus you said so.

2:46:46 PM Joan: i love how verne lundquist just implied that erik ainge, and not an assault with a baseball bat, was brent shaeffer's reason for leaving UT.

10:34:10 AM Holly: See, this is what we were talking about earlier: I'm reading the bio of one of my actors.
10:34:18 AM Holly: "Hair: Blond. Eyes: Slate."
10:34:21 AM Holly: SLATE? COME ON.
10:34:23 AM Swindle: BHWEHGEqkaedkljf
10:34:29 AM Holly: I never liked him.
10:34:31 AM Swindle: His eyes actually are made of stone.

9:58:00 AM Holly: oh my god oh my god
9:58:09 AM Holly: So I was reading this article this morning on Pangaea Ultima
9:58:20 AM Holly: which is what they're calling the new Pangaea that will happen when all the continents drift back into each other in 250 million years
9:58:23 AM Holly: And I saw THIS.
9:58:37 AM Holly: "Australia, Antarctica and New Guinea will be joined too; if present species persist and the resulting mountain range doesn?t prove impassable, Australia might be overrun by penguins or Antarctica by kangaroos. Or Austro-Antarctic Guinea might be ruled by a new species that?s a hybrid of both, a tuxedo-clad marsupial, hopping across the icy wastes."
9:58:40 AM Holly: OMG BEST SPECIES EVER
9:59:05 AM PB: hopping penguins!
9:59:09 AM Holly: I WANT A HOPPING PENGUIN
9:59:17 AM PB: with pouches for baby hopping penguins!
9:59:47 AM Holly: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

11:09:53 AM Joan: HE IS A MODEL NOW
11:09:55 AM Joan: OR SOMETHING
11:09:57 AM Holly: cfhxmxhgfhmcgj,
11:10:16 AM Joan: My favorite part is when he says something like "Temper and Passion"?
11:11:16 AM Holly: dying
11:32:22 AM Joan: "temper and peace" is the new "force be with"
12:09:25 PM Holly: AND FIGHT LIKE THERE IS NO HEAVEN JUST HELL TO MAKE PEACE THROUGH TEMPER.
12:09:27 PM Holly: PONYBOY.

10:39:52 AM Swindle: That Hulk ad is still killing me.
10:40:04 AM Swindle: "WTF? I got irradiated, and this is what I'm pitching?"
10:40:09 AM Swindle: TAQUITOS?
10:40:53 AM Holly: 7-11?
10:40:56 AM Holly: Really?
10:41:00 AM Holly: REALLY?
10:41:28 AM Swindle: HULK HATE IMG
10:42:25 AM Holly: HULK RETAIN CREATIVE CONTROL AND BACK END POINTS
10:42:40 AM Swindle: ALSO OPTION RIGHTS FOR DISTRIBUTION IN ASIA
10:42:47 AM Swindle: HULK NOT BUDGE!
10:43:05 AM Holly: HULK HAD ENTOURAGE SEASON 3 SITTING ON ENTERTAINMENT CENTER FOR 8 MONTHS
10:43:09 AM Holly: HULK SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER
10:43:14 AM Swindle: LOL
10:43:34 AM Holly: HULK NO SEE AQUAMAN PITCHING TACQUITOS

2:37:16 AM Holly: Do you know what those toads are that you can lick to get high?
2:37:30 AM Holly: (Your life has changed for the better knowing me, and times like this are why)
2:38:01 AM PB: African blue toads.
2:38:11 AM Holly: You're a fount of wisdom.
2:38:20 AM PB: No, I just stayed in a Holiday Inn Express.
2:38:27 AM Holly: ...I hate you.
2:38:28 AM PB: (I have no idea what they're called)
2:38:48 AM Holly: And now I hate you more. KNOW THINGS SO I DON"T HAVE TO LOOK THEM UP
2:38:58 AM Holly: Alternatively, I could start the corrections before 3 AM
2:39:01 AM Holly: but where's the fun in that?

Posted by Nastinchka at June 24, 2008 10:06 AM