I can't abandon my life for a campaign anymore, not right now. Four years ago I tossed college aside and ran off to New Hampshire to join A Cause, and it was the hardest I've ever worked in my life and I'd do it again in a second. I was pretty good at getting people to understand why My Guy was The Guy. Circumstances these days just won't allow that kind of time commitment...but this is the first time this whole election cycle that I've wished that weren't the case. This is starting to get fun.
Remember eight years ago when we thought they couldn't go any dumber?
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 05:50 PMMy favorite part is at the end of the first one when Wolf is hedging and they cut to Jack who's in the middle of rolling his eyes for like a millisecond.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 05:54 PMIn honor of that most outstanding headline written by our heroine, I move to turn this into a What's The Difference Between Sarah Palin/John McCain/The Death Star And ____" create-your-own thread.
What's the difference between putting lip stick on a pig and putting lip stick on Sarah Palin?
I have no idea, but the pig would still be better qualified to be President.
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 06:01 PMDUUUHHHH, I live near a nuculur power plant, I can see it from my house, I know how fissile materials werk, I CAN HAS VCE PRESD'NTSEE KTHBAI!
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:02 PMWhat's the difference between putting lip stick on a pig and putting lip stick on Sarah Palin?
The pig is definitely a spring.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 06:04 PMWhat's the difference between putting lipstick on a pig and putting lip stick on Sarah Palin?
Sarah Palin's spiderweb says DUMB PIG
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:12 PMJohn Kerry was "a cause" or "your guy"? I'm hoping you mean Howard Dean.
Posted by: mr. watson at September 26, 2008 06:13 PMWOW WOW WOWY WOW, Jesse.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 06:13 PMJohn Kerry was neither a cause (unless douchebaggery is a cause) or My Guy. Clark.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 06:15 PMI want Jim Lehrer to BECOME DEATH DESTROYER OF REPUBLICANS.
But that would be partisan.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:16 PMTAKE THE SOFTBALL OUT OF HIS CHEEK!
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 06:20 PMI'm so glad Walnuts feels better.
FAIL
The End Is The Beginning is the End of the Economy, by Billy Corgan and Ben Bernanke
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:23 PMIs it bad that I'm bored already?
On the bright side, we're 5 minutes in without mention of Ronald Reagan yet. That's progress, right?
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 06:25 PMZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Wake me when the black man's president.
Posted by: Jesse Helms at September 26, 2008 06:28 PM"We Republicans have been a disaster. But vote for me, a Republican." Okay?
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 06:30 PMGoddammit, Barry, get a helmet and pads and get IN THERE. You have a golden skewer re: tax breaks. Use. It.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 06:32 PM"I didn't win Miss Congeniality in the United States Senate." THAT's the hole you were filling with the VP nomination!
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 06:33 PMJohn McCain's jowls are running for office in Beetlejuice's district.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:35 PMPaging Patches O'Houlihan. GET MEAN.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 06:38 PMThis is pretty pathetic.
Memo to both: Put on a helmet, look your opponent in the eyes, and hit him.
This is like watching a trailer for Legally Blonde 7: The Ditzes Go To Washington.
And Palin's not even on stage.
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 06:39 PMEARMARKS did not put us where we are now, fuckwit.
Earmarks earmarks, veto, pen as old as I am, earmarks, NEEEEEIILLLLL!!!!!
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:40 PMEvery election year, the Democratic candidate has the most liberal voting record in the senate. Yeah, that's not hard when we've become the United States of Evading the Rule of Law.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:45 PMIf he says "John's right" one more time, I'm turning this off.
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 06:45 PMDRILL BABY DRILL DRILL BABY DRILL
(This makes my eyes rain)
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:48 PMTo review:
Handing over health care system to gov't: BAD NO SOCIALISM.
Handing over banking system to gov't: Cool, brah.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 06:51 PMEAT THIS MAN FOR BREAKFAST YOU GLORIOUS MAN OF AFRICA
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:53 PMEArmarks, Maverick, I've got a long record, fisting a turtle, maverick, maverick, earmarks, liberal, earmarks, maverick, jowls, strategy has been succeeding, we're winning in Iraq, the Vietnam War was winnable, MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK OOH OH OH OHOH OHO HOHOH YAHTSEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Posted by: John McCain at September 26, 2008 06:55 PMTHE SURGE IS NOTHING BUT A GODDAMNED WILD INCREASE IN SOLDIERS MAKING A LARGE COVER FOR AN ETHNIC CLEANSING OF SUNNIS. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PLAN?!!!
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:58 PMWhoops, caps lock.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 06:59 PMWait...where's McCain's flag pin? Is it his tongue ring?
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 07:03 PMIs it me or are they both endorsing General Petraeus for President?
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 07:03 PMIs it bad that it annoys me when Obama calls the country between Afghanistan and India "Pah-kee-stahn"?
Posted by: mr. watson at September 26, 2008 07:09 PMI give up. I'm now rooting for them to kiss.
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 07:11 PMAnd there it is...
Posted by: PB at September 26, 2008 07:12 PMWhat else doesn't Obama understand, Walnuts? Tell us all about it, ye of fuckwitted Hockey Mom sidekicks.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 07:12 PMElocution safari looking for the word Perestroika, McCain?
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 07:24 PMFuck me sideways, it's like Stewart trying to read a Steak & Shake menu. "Tuh...tuhn...t.tt....TUNA! TUNA MELT!"
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 07:26 PMMcCain, employing the lesser seen Object Permanence defense gambit--if we cover our eyes, we're invisible!
Posted by: Holly at September 26, 2008 07:29 PMIf we pretend our enemies are a nebulous evil menace, we can defeat them with our military might or something?
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 07:32 PMJust for the record: John McCain referred to himself referentially throughout the debate. We could play count he the number of times he's said "I", and I believe somebody will.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 07:40 PMhahah. That shoulda been reVerentially.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 07:42 PMJohn McCain is fine with 4173 more dead kids in the desert.
Posted by: Big Daddy at September 26, 2008 07:46 PMI'm afraid the mock-chat with Ahmadenijad will be a real killer.
Posted by: mr. watson at September 26, 2008 07:48 PMI have the same problem with this debate as I do with Georgia football: I'm so damn partisan that I can't trust my own judgment, but in some kind of freaky paradox where my internal dialogue sounds like Larry Munson. Did we win? Please?
Posted by: Sparrow at September 26, 2008 08:04 PMJust one time when McCain starts in on the POW theme, I want to see someone arrive stage left with a car battery and some jumper cables - just to see if he'll sign a declaration for old time's sake.
Posted by: Hanoi Hilton Concessionaire at September 26, 2008 11:43 PMShe certainly has shattered that glass ceiling for women who will run for office in the future. Any woman running for national office will never have to worry about living up the current GOP VP nominee.
Posted by: blon at September 29, 2008 03:36 PM