Snarkastic

This is usually where people say they're starting a slow-clap or whatever, but that won't do here. This demands one of those near-manic turn of the 20th century, explosive eruptions of applause.

God bless Holly. And the great game of college football.

And the Greatstateatech-sass, while You're at it.

as long as the key didn't say "unica" on it - you're good.

The "Love can wait... until halftime" graphic reminds me I need to get on making those "I do anal" pretend chastity rings.

Cuz, you are spectacular in every way.

Not only a stadium and earth-shaking eruption of applause, PB, but we damn well also better be chanting Holly's name, making it reverberate off the scoreboard, pillars, and foundation of said arena.

You and Orson should be carrying her on your shoulders for a victory lap as the rest of us who are but mere mortals in all of this are cheering.

I, for one, am doing the "Angels in the Outfield" arm wave.

Not to mention your choice directly led to me enjoying a day of college football while trapped in an office. Win-win.

To Sean...

Dumbass.

To Holly...

Shine on, bright star!!

You are a beacon of light for everyone. You should teach seminars, or at least lead a support group for those of us who have been there/will be there again.

As a man who's been married for nine years as of Wednesday, I can certify that it's not worth hanging around in relationships where "it's me or the..." can be an actual utterance. My wife and I will shout our guts out at each other about our occasional selfish offroading adventures, but at heart, we accepted the whole deal without reservation when we did the whole ring thing. It's sound and fury signifying very little.

OK, now back to you. YAY!!!!

What a dick! I'd suggest we meet in the middle tonight to get drunk, but that would plant us in the midwest.

So no sense of humor and a die-hard Lakers fan, and he's the one making ultimatums over sports infatuation?

Real bright, that one.

Ahh, there's nothing quite as emotionally satisfying as successfully calling someone's bluff.

No spending the night? Why bother dating someone if you cannot have a fun breakfast watching Sportscenter (circa 1992-2002, I am sure you kids read the internet to each other now)together?

And while I believe relationships by nature are filled with compromise, if someone does not understand what the other will not budge on... well. There will be little middle for other things.

Because I'm bad with mornings. Very slow to cycle up into "human". I will resist all attempts at conversation, touching, interaction of any kind, with force if necessary. It's better for all concerned to just leave me to my own devices until 9 or so.

Wow. This post tossed Sir-in-Question right into the goddamned sun. With Bill O'Reilly.

I've been following the codes and trying to read between the lines where I could (or just plain having them read to me by you, over the phone) for years, but I have to say, there's no doubt in my mind that finding an audience for this wasn't the wrong approach at all, certainly not this time.

That must've felt good. I think the underpinning of the responses thus far may have secretly been "I wish I could have taken this ground over (insert unworthy douchenozzle here)"

And Goddamn.

It's a conference game. Only valid excuses are death (your own), childbirth (your own), or Arkansas fanship.

Back in town tonight, in case you're also back in town and need consoling/to feed your blossoming alcoholism.

Just a goshdamn second. Does this read like a cry for help? I drove back up last night, shotgunned a bottle of water, showered, wrote that, and fell asleep shortly after nesting.* I am feeling no pain that's not directly related to University of Tennessee quarterbacking prowess.

*(obligatory "Know what I do when I win? Two drinks" reference goes here)

I suspected, when I heard you on EDSBS talking about how you hated someone in the face, that you were only really scratching the surface of what it looks like when someone makes ripples in the pool of your equanimity.

The muted clapping isn't reverential, it's me keeping a safe distance.

Actually, I'm running away from my mixed metaphor.

Not only does this not read like a cry for help, this reads like an excellent call. For where you were, taking this step really only makes sense.

Crompton would've held onto this well past the point of no return. Rest assured you're not following in his footsteps.

What is it with us girls who love college football finding the few men who don't? It may be an epidemic.

Most at issue might be whether your orange clad gladiators and the professional football men who lead them show the same dedication and good judgment from here on out.

Slow clap.

What was worth it? The six months with him, or the game?

The game. That game. Even that game was worth seeing. Because them's our boys.

What a douchebag that guy was. If he doesn't understand that every Saturday in the south is a religious conviction than he's not worth it. The West Coast just does not understand..

That officially puts him right up there with Josh "My BAC is higher than my IQ and GPA" W. Is this gonna be a dry party?

That's what its all about folks.....

My ex(heh) wife gave birth to my son on Oct 7, 1995. Michigan was playing Northwestern. She asked for the staff to bring a TV into the delivery room. She hates football.
She didn't want me worrying about the game.
Michigan lost, but I have a perfect son. Fair trade, I think.

That was epic!

The word "hero" gets thrown around far too often...but I think the only thing you're lacking (presumably) is a badass lighter that says "fuck communism" on it.

I do hope that you'll post any ill-fated attempts by Sean to win you back by discussing his sudden interest in the merits of running the draw on third and five.

Holy shit. Don't laugh. I have that exact lighter and so do two of my dearest friends. Got them made special (do you have any idea how hard it is to get a shop in Tennessee to engrave that?). Proud Americans, what!

I was obviously too quick to presume otherwise.

Incidentally, my best friend and I have that lighter as well, and though mine hasn't worked in several years, it is among my most prized possessions.

Over the years, I've come to appreciate the more liberal members of the engraving business (the local Things Remembered staff ask surprisingly few questions).

That's where we got ours done. The mall was the last place we thought to try, but the results speak for themselves.

If he wasn't a Laker's fan (Guh...) I would say that dumping him to watch Crompton and Todd desecrate the position of quarterback was a bad call.

/kidding, kinda...

You are woman and I hear ya roar...same sitcho with my ex-husband...he would be like, "are you going to sit there all day and watch football?" and I'd be like, "yep" and on and on and among other things..divorced that one...not sure what it is about college football-savvy women finding the ones that don't get it at all. west coast problem, no doubt.

Holly,

Sent here from the EDSBS link. All in all, I think you're MUCH better off without the arrogant Laker fan.

Stick to your own kind - SEC fans do exist outside the Confederacy, you just have to look for them. For the sake of comparison, think of the worst case scenario: even a rabid Bama fan would at least understand the requirement to show for the UT-Auburn game, despite his personal prejudice on the matter, and would probably offer to accompany.

Sullivan013*

*Happily married for 26 years to that cute tipsy girl dressed as a Playboy bunny he met at a frat Halloween party they both crashed. There's never an argument about the most important game to watch on Saturday. WDE!

Wow. Just...wow. Holly, I can't tell you what a great example you just set for all those folks out there who hang on too long for all the wrong reasons, and who put up with too much shit for too little in return. That's the kind of thing that I want to point to as an example for my kids--Don't be afraid to be who you are and stand up for yourself.

Well done, girl. Well done.

Bummer about the game Holly. Oh. . . .and good riddance to that retard. Lakers fan? That's all one needs to know about him. You're way better off with tradition and Tennessee.

The game. The game. The game. Always the game.

If you have to ask, then you do not get it.

Let me state for the record that I am a rabid female fan of college football, subclass SEC, subgroup, Auburn.

First husband - Auburn graduate, engineering school. First clue should have been that he did not use his student tickets at all during his five years at AU. On the other hand, I was knocking on the door of the Athletic Department five weeks before school started asking what I had to do to get my student tickets... but hey, the sex was good. Until he got pissed about no sex during the game...

Second and forever husband - now I am married to an LSU man - I know, I know - and there is an unwritten rule that from August to February, our lives revolve around football of all kinds. We planned our wedding and both pregnancies around football season so as to not interfere with our other religion.

You did good, Holly. As mentioned, I have divorced for less. As for the AU-TN matchup, I'd say I am sorry about the game... but I'm not, and you'd be disappointed in me if I did.

War Eagle, y'all.