October 10, 2008
Cry, the beloved Bulldog
Everything after the jump will somehow make even less sense if you don't read Doug's third chapter at HJS beforehand, so if you haven't yet, go on. We'll wait.
Time to bring it on home. For the run game, for the Vawls, and for us. Oh, and the future's bleak, except for the A-11, but you could've guessed that.
Chick-fil-A Dramatic Theatre presents Scenes from a Marriage
EPILOGUE: Don't Cross the Streams
August, 2037. The front porch of a dark house on a late summer evening. HOLLY and DOUG relax on a wide swing, drinks in hand...still hollering:
DOUG
Don't bring that "good television" argument into it again, is all.
HOLLY
It's entertainment! This is a nation of gladiators, dear, and the people will demand their latest shiny thing whether we find it distasteful or not, so why fight it?
DOUG
But...[disgustedly] The A-11? In a pro league? How in the hell will that ever translate from the college game?
HOLLY
Thirty years ago the A-11 in college games was a punchline, and look how that turned out; I'm just saying--
[A car screeches to a halt in front of the house, and their daughter, KNOWSHAUNA, 19, leaps out and runs across the yard with tears streaming down her face. She flings herself into the swing between her parents, sobbing.]
KNOWSHAUNA
My life is over! OVER!!
DOUG
What's wrong, Buttercup?
HOLLY
Honey, what happened?
KNOWSHAUNA
Bobby's off the team. He 's leaving school.
DOUG
Well, now, darlin', you had to realize that was a possibility when--
KNOWSHAUNA
He was just driving the getaway car, Daddy! He didn't do anything! And now he's leaving and my life, my actual entire life is over and--
[KNOWSHAUNA's cell phone chirps with a xylophone remix of Rocky Top. DOUG glowers. HOLLY smiles serenely. KNOWSHAUNA walks back out into the yard to take the call. As her parents resume their argument in the background, we see KNOWSHAUNA's expression shift gradually from despair to hope to pure happiness. Nodding rapidly, she hangs up the phone and runs back up the porch steps.]
KNOWSHAUNA
It's all settled!
HOLLY
Who was that, darlin'?
KNOWSHAUNA
Bobby! He got another offer! Right away, he got another offer!
DOUG
From where?
KNOWSHAUNA
Gainesville! Spurrier Junior's had so many injuries in camp, he'll take a possession receiver! He says Bobby's got "sturdy ankles" or something, but--anyway, it's all settled. They're starting the paperwork in the morning. And--and I'm gonna go with him.
[Pause. No one moves a muscle.]
DOUG
There another Gainesville we don't know about?
KNOWSHAUNA
Daddy--
DOUG
My daughter. My daughter, leave Georgia for Florida? Absolutely not.
KNOWSHAUNA
But--
HOLLY
Honey, if you're not happy in Athens you could always join your brother in Knoxville, you--
KNOWSHAUNA
NO, Mom. My mind's made up, and you can't stop me. [She flounces to the stoop and sits, pointedly looking at neither parent.]
DOUG
Now listen here, young lady--[HOLLY puts a hand on his arm and shoots him a warning glance.]
HOLLY
Honey, why don't you go in and splash your face and just relax for tonight? We'll talk about this in the morning.
[KNOWSHAUNA lifts her head.]
KNOWSHAUNA
Really?
HOLLY
I think everyone needs some time to think this through. Got your laundry in the car? [KNOWSHAUNA nods.] Just leave it at the bottom of the stairs and go on up to bed.
KNOWSHAUNA
Thanks, Mom. Love you, Daddy.
DOUG
Night, Buttercup.
[A comfortable silence descends again while KNOWSHAUNA retrieves her laundry bag from the car and disappears into the house. After a few moments, HOLLY turns to DOUG.]
HOLLY
Now, who does that remind you of?
DOUG
She is her mother's daughter.
HOLLY
Not a lot we can do about it now.
DOUG
And hell, maybe she's right.
HOLLY
She's not.
DOUG
Of course she's not, but I don't ever want her to have to go through what we had to. [deep breath] And isn't that the mark of a job well done, as parents? Wanting them to have everything better? Not that I'm mellowing in my old age, mind, but...hell, Gainesville's not too far.
HOLLY
Not that much further away than Champ. And if her mind's made up? They're both good kids. Even Bobby's a good kid, bless his dumb heart. Maybe it's all for the best.
DOUG
May be. May be.
[They swing in silence for a minute.]
DOUG
First thing in the morning, I'm calling the contractor and having bars installed on her window.
HOLLY
As thick as he can make them without messing with the trellis, all right? We didn't raise them to run off and live like savages.
DOUG [picking up his empty glass]
'nother drink?
HOLLY
Please.
~fin~
Posted by Nastinchka at October 10, 2008 07:07 AM
*slow clap*
Posted by: Shea at October 10, 2008 07:40 AMWell done to both of you.
Posted by: Studley at October 10, 2008 08:05 AMAbsolutely brilliant, both of you. If it doesn't work out with Doug, just let me know...
As many cocktails as the both of you want. On me.
Many thanks for the entertainment. I feel all warm inside now. Oh wait that's just my finger.
Posted by: Scott h. at October 10, 2008 09:49 AMAh, loathing of Florida. Is there any relationship it can't make thrive?
Golf claps.
Posted by: Signal to Noise at October 10, 2008 10:38 AMI love you. I don't know why, but I do.
Posted by: The Virgin Connie Swayle at October 10, 2008 07:03 PMHolly (and Doug),
You just could've asked me - Mrs. BamaTaxMan is a graduate of that school in east Alabama, and this is only a slight exaggeration of our marriage (at least in the last couple of weeks of November).
Can't y'all get a book/TV deal - this would be a lot funnier than American Idol.
Posted by: BamaTaxMan at October 11, 2008 09:43 AMDon't lie, you teared up a little while writing this didn't you?
Bravo.
To see a die-hard Vol and a die-hard Dawg come together in their hatred of the Gators...sigh, it's just lovely.
Great work you two...and GO DAWGS!!
Posted by: beecher05 at October 13, 2008 10:10 AM