Preee-eeee-eeee-paaaare yeee the waaaay of the LEMSDAY:
7:14:09 PM Swindle: ODACOACHO LUVYASO
7:25:41 PM Holly: AH LUVVA EVERTHANG
7:26:03 PM Holly: All is right with the world. I'm not kidding.
7:26:52 PM Swindle: He's such a badass
7:26:57 PM Holly: HIM OUR'N
7:27:50 PM Swindle: New essential boat in Vol Navy: AIRBOAT
7:27:57 PM Holly: [thud]
7:27:58 PM Holly: Yes.
7:28:20 PM Swindle: Buy one now. Cover it in the finest of critter pelts
7:28:48 PM Holly: THEAH WILL BE A BAHBECUE AT TWAYLVE OAKS TONAGHT
7:28:53 PM Holly: AH BAHBECUE OF HUMAN FLAYSH
7:29:11 PM Holly: ....yeah, it's gonna be a caps lock kinda night.
7:29:18 PM Swindle: Why not?
7:30:13 PM Holly: He'd want it that way, if he knew what a computer was
7:30:23 PM Holly: HAPPAH LEMYEAR
7:32:16 PM Swindle: He doesn't text message. He yells until you hear him
7:32:26 PM Holly: It don't take long.
The morning after:
9:43:41 AM Swindle: You were twittering in ALL CAPS last night. Assuming: drunk.
10:02:15 AM Swindle: FLOATY
10:02:23 AM Holly: WHAT
10:02:26 AM Holly: (hi)
10:02:30 AM Holly: *hic*
10:02:35 AM Swindle: Head. Floaty
10:02:39 AM Swindle: Champagne
10:02:42 AM Holly: Don't type so loud
12:26:09 PM TGB: Jeremy Shockey just spotted at the Wachovia on Lincoln Rd in Miami. GET ON A PLANE HE'S GETTING AWAY.
10:49:33 PM Doug: Keenan Ivory Wayans IS Randy Shannon in HURRICANE WARNING: THE GREATEST EMERALD BOWL EVER PLAYED: THE JACORY HARRIS STORY.
10:50:12 PM Doug: Co-starring the ghost of Phil Hartman as Jeff Tedford.
1:43:17 PM Holly: Mark dantonio, btw, needs to star as some kind of Collie Entragian-esque killing machine
1:43:24 PM Holly: "No shirt? No shoes? NO SKIN."
11:07:50 AM Holly: South Florida @ West Virginia
HOLLY, IN NO WAY PLOTTING A MORGANTOWN COUP FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF FIRING BILL STEWART, THEN PEACEFULLY SURRENDERING TO THE AUTHORITIES WITH THE SATISFACTION OF A JOB WELL DONE: Any AFC loyalists in the house? Got, say, a New England fan in your life who continually crows about how terrible the conditions are at Gillette and how that somehow makes his team superior because geography dictates they occasionally play in snow? I hate that shit. Tomorrow, though? It's going to be 20ish degrees at kickoff in Morgantown, and that's an edge West Virginia will desperately cling to if they know what's good for them, because if there's one thing Bill Stewart could fuck up better than everything else he's fucked up this year (WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING), it's Pat White's curtain call. Things work out best for the Mountaineers lately with White operating as shadow-coach, so just enjoy your Ovaltine, Stewie, and let darling Pitty-Pat's little legs power you through to an eight-win season that should've been at least eleven. YOU FUCKING USELESS CRETIN BOBBLEHEAD REBOUND BITCH. [deep, calming breaths]
11:08:07 AM Swindle: I like it when you yell with both lungs
Long story:
12:30:09 AM PB: You were nominated for an award - and not just on me. People read 'em.
12:30:27 AM Holly: but...but...
12:30:31 AM Holly: makestrangersloveme
12:30:46 AM Holly: [stomp]
12:31:05 AM PB: I just left a comment!
12:31:22 AM Holly: STRANGERS LOVING ME IS MORE IMPORTANT
12:31:24 AM Holly: (lie)
12:31:27 AM PB: lol
12:32:05 AM Holly: [validaps]
12:32:15 AM PB: [validap(town)]
12:32:19 AM Holly: FACE
12:32:21 AM Holly: ness
12:32:23 AM PB: mc
12:32:27 AM Holly: sauce
12:32:31 AM PB: pleby
12:32:35 AM Holly: ....
12:32:45 AM PB: (suffix)
12:32:48 AM Holly: Touche.
'Nother long story:
12:27:04 AM PB: Whoops - the URL I left for our name links to a real porn site
12:27:16 AM PB: www.sexapalooza.com
12:27:20 AM PB: Do not click
10:02:53 PM Swindle: Here, this is better than any painkiller
10:03:59 PM Swindle: Rip torn as evil priest with skin condition
10:04:09 PM Holly: I don't think the skin condition is acting.
10:04:22 PM Swindle: No, it's alcohol poisoning
8:43:09 AM Holly: AAAAAAHHHHHHH
8:43:24 AM PB: ?
8:43:24 AM Holly: _____ just spelled the following word the following way: "compartmentalising"
8:43:30 AM Holly: I have LOST HIM FOREVER.
8:43:38 AM Holly: ZOMG, he's an irretrievable douchebag.
8:44:13 AM PB: I have no idea how to respond to that
10:08:22 PM Holly: If you haven't seen this yet, GO.
10:09:08 PM Swindle: YOYOWWOOWOW
10:09:17 PM Holly: ORANGE TIE
10:10:09 PM Swindle: I envy the awesome of you having the Orgeron. staring daggers
10:10:25 PM Holly: So, which bowl game are y'all going to again? BECAUSE I FORGET
10:10:41 PM Holly: He's back in the essa eeeh saaey, e'rbody wins.
8:03:03 PM PB: It's always a little awkward when I hang out with people who are waaaaaay further from the alcoholic line than I am.
8:38:06 PM Holly: Is it OK that I want to hit her?
8:38:11 PM Holly: not hard
8:38:14 PM Holly: just in the mouth
8:38:17 PM Holly: when she talks
8:38:29 PM PB: Patience - she's amazing (character)
8:40:59 PM Holly: hiiiiit.
10:46:35 PM Swindle: Let me state this
10:46:46 PM Swindle: Under Pressure? With someone who knows the vocal parts?
10:46:55 PM Swindle: A LEGENDARY karaoke song
10:46:56 PM Holly: Sh-boom?
10:47:11 PM Swindle: Saw it in action. Forza.
10:47:20 PM Holly: Righteous.
10:48:07 PM Swindle: Oh, that doesn't cover it.
10:48:14 PM Swindle: It was fucking EPIC BRAH
10:48:17 PM Holly: UP TOP
10:48:42 PM Swindle: You have to have someone willing to break on the rocks of Freddie Mercury's part.
10:49:04 PM Holly: Anyone who can make all those little noises convincingly deserves rounds and a medal
10:49:17 PM Swindle: I hereby volunteer for said duty.
10:49:21 PM Swindle: Just need a bowie.
10:49:48 PM Holly: I have one that has little pictures of duckies on it, for reasons I can no longer recall.
6:01:44 PM PB: Sweet tea - I always thought it weird that southerners added sugar to tea. In Austin, it's the opposite - no contamination, period.
6:01:53 PM Holly: [HISSSSSSSSSSS]
6:01:59 PM PB: Just weird
6:02:07 PM Holly: [HISSSSSSSSSSSSS] outlander.
9:24:07 PM Holly: Is it the pitch you made me, cause that was awesome
9:24:16 PM Holly: I'm really really glad we decided not to do it, but it was awesome.
9:24:23 PM PB: Sent. Lemme know what you think.
9:24:42 PM Holly: It'd be like leaving you a smallpox-infested blanket ([BLOGGER REDACTED]) and beating a path back to spain
10:11:13 PM Swindle: Tech complaint: just bought printer/scan/faxbot. Yay.
10:11:39 PM Swindle: Boo: printer/scan/faxbot does not come with $3.25 USB cord to make it work.
10:11:50 PM Holly: Oh, for fuck's sake, [company here]
10:12:03 PM Swindle: An oversight of almost Russian elegance
10:12:22 PM Holly: Does the box say CORD, college boy? No. It says PRINTER.
10:13:13 PM Swindle: It's the details that get you stranded in the Antarctic. IT'S COURAGE THAT TURNS YOU INTO SHACKLETON. (heads to 24 hr Wal-Mart at 10:13 pm)
Why, for your own sanity, you should never tell me you found my birthday present five weeks ahead of time:
5:28:26 PM PB: I'm not mailing you a kitten, but I'm also giving you zero - ZERO - hints this time.
5:28:55 PM Holly: if they're anything like your hints last time, I'm better off without.
5:29:14 PM Holly: (THOSE WERE NOT HINTS)
5:29:22 PM PB: I've been watching too many detective shows. They seemed like dead giveaways at the time.
5:29:28 PM Holly: I'm not very bright!
12:22:50 PM Swindle: I currently have product in my hair from yesterday's cut.
12:23:00 PM Swindle: It's gotten positive reviews, and I don't like it.
12:23:26 PM Holly: what is it?
12:23:42 PM Swindle: A thickish tousling stuff
12:24:01 PM Swindle: It looks suspiciously like a fauxhawk
12:24:15 PM Holly: ...oh, dear.
12:24:37 PM Swindle: I know. I don't know who to trust anymore.
SEC baby names and you:
8:58:01 PM Doug: RayRay Colquitt Manning? Honey, I thought we talked about this.
8:58:09 PM Holly: [scuffs feet]
8:58:11 PM Holly: but...
8:58:13 PM Holly: but..
8:58:59 PM Holly: I mean, one of them WAS our MVP this year.
8:59:12 PM Doug: [crickets]
8:59:40 PM Holly: Would it help to add that I'd be naming him after Dustin, not Britt?
9:00:06 PM Doug: [cricketscrickets]
9:00:34 PM Holly: All right, let's make this interesting. In exchange for what Georgia baby name would you allow this to happen?
9:01:15 PM Doug: Hmmm . . .
9:01:51 PM Doug: Munson Moreno "Champ" Gillett. Yes, you love it.
9:01:58 PM Holly: Oh, man.
9:01:59 PM Holly: Wow.
9:02:10 PM Holly: Um.
9:02:20 PM Holly: Munson for the FIRST name? Really?
9:02:30 PM Doug: A punter's name anywhere? Really?
9:02:38 PM Holly: I say this as a big fan of his, mind.
9:02:47 PM Holly: [sigh] All right. Sold.
9:02:53 PM Holly: We can call it Sonny.
9:03:03 PM Holly: But only when it's drunk.
9:03:25 PM Doug: I was thinking "Champ" would be the standard nickname, but we can do "Boss" if you'd rather.
9:03:41 PM Holly: Either way. Because the Colquitts are so much more than punters.
9:03:58 PM Doug: By all means, enlighten me.
9:04:16 PM Holly: They're field position war machines! [crazy eyes]
9:04:27 PM Doug: [cricketscricketscrickets]
9:04:35 PM Holly: This is gonna take some work, isn't it.
9:05:01 PM Doug: That, or intensely deviant sexual favors. Your time and your dime.
Lo, do I see mine offseason:
9:49:08 AM Holly: That is the worst idea I have ever had
9:49:19 AM Holly: Which means we're saving it for February
Posted by Nastinchka at January 5, 2009 10:37 AM