Snarkastic

Laff Riot 141: Push The Histogram

9:27:32 PM Nastinchka: One of my Bammer chums took a picture of me and Doug on the Quad
9:27:48 PM Nastinchka: and I just now noticed that in the background are what appear to be two grown-ass men, Tide fans, tangoing
9:28:06 PM Swindle: We may have to do something with that.
9:28:17 PM Nastinchka: I think they're actually both just pointing into the distance
9:28:20 PM Nastinchka: but it's hard to tell since they're cheek to cheek.
9:28:59 PM Nastinchka: Second only to this: When the drunk Chi O escort next to us screamed at the UT band to get off the field and "stop being such fucking faggots", seconds before the Alabama band launched into a Rascal Flatts song.
9:29:39 PM Swindle: RAWK
9:29:45 PM Nastinchka: JUST SAYING.

9:35:13 PM Nastinchka: That was the best game I've seen in YEARS.
9:35:23 PM Swindle: I'm sure. BDS is good watchin'.
9:35:48 PM Swindle: Nice sight lines, raucous crowd, Bama girls hanging their bare, nasty feet over the entry ways
9:36:02 PM Nastinchka: Everyone was just kinda staggering around like we'd survived a plane crash after. It was hilarious.
9:38:11 PM Swindle: I don't know how they managed to do a Rammer Jammer after that win
9:38:17 PM Swindle: Their offense is BUTT
9:38:39 PM Nastinchka: It was among the very loudest I've heard there, and Doug was brave enough to yell back "WE JUST SURVIVED THE HELL OUT OF YOU" while we were still inside

11:54:26 AM Fowler: true story - in UVa's pregame intro video the Thomas Jefferson statue blows up the opponents mascot WITH LASERS FROM HIS EYES
11:54:51 AM Nastinchka: That sounds an awful lot like something that'll make me root for Virginia
12:00:16 PM Fowler: seriously
12:00:20 PM Fowler: watch ANY of those
12:00:34 PM Fowler: and tell me you don't have a pathological hatred of UVa
12:01:40 PM Nastinchka: Ha, these are awesome
12:01:56 PM Fowler: if by awesome you mean "horrifically lame"
12:02:10 PM Nastinchka: No, I"m pretty sure I mean LASER EYED THOMAS JEFFERSON
12:07:31 PM Fowler: they do it like once a season or so
12:07:36 PM Fowler: cavman gets lazy
12:07:40 PM Fowler: and TJ zaps somebody
12:07:51 PM Nastinchka: this is treasure
12:09:56 PM Fowler: it's embarassing to lose to a team that does that shit
12:10:12 PM Fowler: Desert Storm was going on when we last won there
12:10:13 PM Nastinchka: I am still unconvinced that this is not hilarious
12:10:27 PM Fowler: oh, it's hilarious ... hilariously small time
12:10:29 PM Nastinchka: but I feel your pain
12:10:36 PM Nastinchka: FUCKIN CAKE EATERS
12:11:31 PM Fowler: THIS MAN OWNS US
12:11:36 PM Fowler: HIM!
12:11:40 PM Nastinchka: ....ew.
12:12:12 PM Fowler: pompous asshats who haven't heard that the landed aristocracy is dead in the south
12:12:36 PM Nastinchka: There, there. Al Groh can't live forever.....CAN HE??

9:31:40 PM Nastinchka: (What did Griese actually do? We didn't have internet Out There.)
9:31:55 PM Swindle: They were doing a NASCAR promo
9:32:08 PM Swindle: Someone mentioned Juan Pablo Montoya
9:32:18 PM Swindle: They inquired as to his whereabouts
9:32:19 PM Nastinchka: ohhhh.
9:32:28 PM Swindle: Bob said, "He's probably off having a taco!"
9:32:32 PM Nastinchka: WOW.
9:32:46 PM Nastinchka: I....wow.
9:33:42 PM Swindle: Makes you crave the archived off-air banter between him and Maguire, no?
9:33:46 PM Nastinchka: Kinda!

7:54:56 AM Doug: Got your DeLay e-mail. I gotta say, I almost feel sorry for the li'l guy.
7:55:01 AM Doug: (Almost.)
7:55:28 AM Doug: I mean, this guy was once the most feared power broker in all of Congress, a real do-not-fuck-with-him-ever kind of guy,
7:55:35 AM Doug: and now he can't even stay on a dancing show.
7:55:47 AM Nastinchka: [wario laugh]
7:56:13 AM Doug: It's like finding out Brandon Spikes got kicked off the Florida team and had to find a job at a flower shop.
7:56:18 AM Doug:: And then got fired from the flower shop.
7:57:13 AM Nastinchka: Lot of glass cases in those stores.
7:58:00 AM Doug: In this particular scenario, tackling one of those big stand-up funeral arrangements was what did it.
7:58:29 AM Nastinchka: This is where a quarkback would come in handy. Demps could dive right through that hole in the middle of the wreath, the little bastard.
7:59:23 AM Doug: YEAH, ROSES! YEAH, CARNATIONS! WHO'S RESTING IN PEACE NOW? WHAT'S MY NAME?
8:00:03 AM Nastinchka: I almost made a Pie Jesu domine joke, and now I don't feel bad about that.

1:13:20 PM Swindle: You see this?
1:14:10 PM Nastinchka: That's like being a bucket drummer on the subway compared to Mack Brown's routine.
1:14:30 PM Swindle: You don't even know what you're dealing with here, stoops
1:15:15 PM Swindle: Bob Stoops doesn't know the first thing about pageanting
1:15:21 PM Swindle: His girls will be SPOTLESS
1:16:26 PM Nastinchka: When what they're really looking for is...spots in all the right places?

5:54:52 PM Nastinchka: Can you ban someone just for having a stupid-ass signature?
5:55:02 PM PB: Hi
5:55:05 PM Nastinchka: (hi)

5:22:24 PM 'Bus: Have you seen foxes on trampolines?
5:22:26 PM Nastinchka: NO
5:22:34 PM Nastinchka: Is it better than Bear On Trampoline?
5:22:55 PM 'Bus: I like foxes a lot more than bears.
5:23:20 PM Nastinchka: this is magical
5:23:32 PM 'Bus: Yeah, it's sort of amazing
5:25:12 PM Nastinchka: This has been my late favorite
5:25:45 PM 'Bus: The guy kicking the guy holding the block in the head is pretty awesome
5:25:58 PM Nastinchka: Whenever you're having a slow day at the lab, just google "backyard wrestling accident"
5:26:09 PM Nastinchka: or "gymnastics bloopers". Those are my magical boredom cures.
5:27:26 PM Nastinchka: oh, god, here we go
5:29:17 PM 'Bus: Mat burn on the nose must suck
5:29:21 PM Nastinchka: SO CUTE
5:29:54 PM Nastinchka: Another magical YouTube phrase: "bird attacks"
5:31:40 PM 'Bus: Apparently pelicans strike like snakes.
5:32:20 PM Nastinchka: Right? Pelicans are my bird bodyguards.
5:37:04 PM 'Bus: "Drunk cheerleading" is not as good as one would hope
5:37:12 PM 'Bus: Both on humor or kinkiness leveles
5:37:43 PM Nastinchka: OK, that leaves the list at "backyard wrestling accident", "gymnastics bloopers", and "bird attacks." What else is foolproof?
5:38:18 PM 'Bus: "hey, watch this"

3:32:32 PM Nastinchka: That layer of insulation clears my conscience.
3:34:36 PM Princess PrettyPants: fair. i dont mind being for florida as long as they are not playing ut or some other team i have bizarre allegiance to ie west virginia.
3:35:15 PM Nastinchka: I'll be at three Georgia games this year. I am in a unique position to understand you.
3:35:23 PM Nastinchka: And, I mean, it's not like either of us is screwing a Bama boy.
3:35:34 PM Nastinchka: We're like waist-deep in the Rubicon, but not through.
3:35:42 PM Princess PrettyPants: what has become of us?
3:36:10 PM Nastinchka: We thrive on conflict?
3:37:26 PM Princess PrettyPants: but we also like the boys who embrace the challenge of dating not only a rival, but also, you know us
3:37:34 PM Nastinchka: right
3:37:37 PM Princess PrettyPants: we are difficult beauties.
3:37:57 PM Princess PrettyPants: :::preen:::
3:37:59 PM Princess PrettyPants: i really did just flip my hair
3:39:05 PM Nastinchka: I know.
3:39:17 PM Nastinchka: Also, I read that as "beasties"
3:39:28 PM Princess PrettyPants: eh. thats fair.

10:39:26 PM TGB: Fact: Andrew Lloyd Webber has been stabbed 49 times.
10:39:45 PM TGB: He cannot die and will haunt us all forever.
10:39:47 PM Nastinchka: He's too calcified for it to take, but I'll find the weak spot yet.

9:13:29 PM TGB ARE YOU PREGNANT?
9:13:41 PM Nastinchka: He looks just like his father!

6:09:39 PM Nastinchka: You understand that by watching this game in the same room with me, you are conscripting yourself into WFV fandom for four hours, right?
6:10:03 PM Swindle: I hate mediocrity. Colorado is mediocrity. FIRST DOWN MOUNTAINEERS!!! /slapswoman
6:10:09 PM Nastinchka: That's the spirit.

3:22:22 PM Nastinchka: Also, I will clearly be in town when you're at the TN Theyayter
3:22:28 PM Nastinchka: THE RYMAN HOLY SHIT
3:22:33 PM Princess PrettyPants: I KNOWWWWWWWWWW
3:22:35 PM Nastinchka: You get to run around at the Ryman. I hate you.
3:22:37 PM Princess PrettyPants: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
3:22:38 PM Nastinchka: ADOPT ME
3:22:41 PM Princess PrettyPants: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
3:22:50 PM Princess PrettyPants: i cant adopt you. you are my father
3:22:56 PM Nastinchka: Excellent point.
3:23:04 PM Princess PrettyPants: speaking of which
3:23:08 PM Nastinchka: As your patron I order you to take me with you. Fold me into a suitcase
3:23:48 PM Princess PrettyPants: no. thats a lot of hassle as much as i love you.
3:24:06 PM Nastinchka: I'll just have to cling to the underside of your van like a clown
3:24:23 PM Princess PrettyPants: thats reasonable

Posted by Nastinchka at October 26, 2009 03:08 PM