Snarkastic

Sleepover of the Damned Pool, Round 4
THE RECKONING: Colts vs. Saints

• Moo: Colts
• Extra P: Saints
• TGB:--
• DCT: Saints
• Daniel-san: Colts
• RCR: Saints
• TC: Saints
• Harris: Colts
• Holly: Colts
• Livia: Saints
• Peck: Colts
• Jef: Colts
• DF:--
• T$: Colts
• Paragon: Colts
• Grubby: Colts
• Fesser: Saints
• PLadd:--
• S2N: Colts
• TSW: Colts
• Cotter: Colts
• Massey:--
• Texy:--
• Dolla Bill: Colts
• 'Bus: Saints

EXTRA P
First of all, I want to know what happens if we tie. Do you lash my wrist to Livia's mom's wrist and force us to knife fight, like in the video for "Beat It"? Because that would be awesome.
I'm going to throw my lot in with the Saints. I feel fairly certain that Joan's ma will pick the Tennessee boy, so make mine a Boilermaker. You may ask "Why? Why pick against the golden child, destined to unite the tribes of the world, bring justice to the rings of Saturn, and create three new wonderful flavors for Baskin-Robbins?" I have my reasons. 1) Drew Brees doesn't have the mark of Satan black caterpiller on his face any more. 2) You can't bet against a defense named The Strip Club 3) The party is going to be more epic than Mardi Gras 4) Mardi Gras=boobs for beads. Imagine what might happen if the Ain'ts win the Big One? It's gonna be NC-17 up in heah.

So. That's why.

TGB
BUT WHAT ABOUT PICKING THE PRO BOWL Can't we earn immunity or something?

DANIEL-SAN
love the saints but think the colts will win. plus don't want a team that has never won the superbowl to win until the titans do first.

RCR
I'm heading down to New Orleans on Saturday. There is no other place I can see myself being for Sunday. My wife and I will catch some Mardi Gras parades Saturday night, and we'll party our asses off. Then on Sunday, we'll be crazier than Mike Leach on PCP at a Pirates Convention in Amsterdam. If the Saints win, I'll have a front row seat to what could end up being the biggest party in the history of New Orleans. And that isn't an easy thing to say. Final score:
New Orleans Saints 35
Indy Colts 27

TC
I've flip-flopped back and forth about thirty times on this, and continued to put it off, so I'm going to cede my time to Jeff Goldblum to make the pick. "So, ah, er, um, Tony DUNGY well, disrespected the, er, [hand gesture] Saints, so, well, [shrug], you have to consider that. Don't you? [soft chuckle] But, well, you know, the, ah, the ah, fact that Payton Manning is probably the best thing to ever come out of [stares a hole through absolutely nothing] well, the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, yes? And he's playing quite well. I expect a, um, a score in the high - the high range. [stands up, does something abrupt and weird] AndyouareawareI'msure... that the conventional, ah, wisdom is with the Colts, so I'm - I'm going to go the other way. Saints find a way. By 4."

HARRIS
It has been said that one can have a religion without a god, but not without a devil. This game has no devil. I have no one to hate. How can one hate Drew Brees? That's like hating sunbeams or snow on a kitten's nose. Peyton? He's got a fetus for a head, sure, and he's on my teevee more often than porn, but he seems to have a good sense of humor about himself and he's in a zone few athletes ever enjoy. If Manning had the ball on his own 3, down by 10 with 30 seconds to play, I'd give him 50-50 shot to get a win. Neither team can play defense reliably. The Colts' best defender will be limited at best, but the Saints depend on turnovers that Peyton probably won't give them. The Saints have a clear edge in special teams, but they depend on an awful young kicker. Fuck it, I'll take the Colts because it causes the most pain. Baltimore and New Orleans will both have to again face the fact that God hates them and wants them all to die.

JEF
I pick Indianapolis and here's why. New Orleans, for all it's face-melting humidity, is a hip town. History, rivers, jazz, hurricanes, booze on the streets... Spending a week in New Orleans you will get super drunk, eat some fantastic food, discover any shellfish allergies you might secretly have, see a ghost, get a psychic reading, ride a carriage, hear lots of jazz and karaoke, and probably feel conflicted about the idle racism contained in a lot of the tourist junk. If you go to Indianapolis, you will go to a race, go to a football game, or do a lot of reading.
When I was there, here's what happened. I went to the mall, ate a sandwich, then pulled out a map and said, 'hey, there's Muncie. The Hudsucker proxy." I then went to Muncie, ate some mexican food, and thought "wow, Muncie."
So Indianapolis, you get to win the superbowl because even though New Orleans has been through some shit lately that town already has so much on you that, despite the media hype, you need something to cheer about. New Orleans, next time you get this far, think about outlawing street drinking and being superlame if you want my vote.

DCT
Spite is hard to muster here, because I have nothing against either team. I'd like to believe that the tidy, inspirational narrative arc of the Saints winning the Super Bowl will come to fruition, in much the same way that I'd like to believe that people are fundamentally decent and the American Dream is as true and as sweet as the breath of unicorns. Unfortunately, shitty things happen all the time to people who try and might have a nice back story - that's life. And hope and social mythology are not always a good match against tedious perfectionism. Insofar as my very superficial understanding of the NFL goes, Peyton Manning - and I mean this as a compliment - is a stupendously boring, Six Sigma Black Belt having, Kaizen implementing, machine of a quarterback. He doesn't do tedious shit like make mistakes, get rattled, what have you. Or at least not much, and less so than the opposition.
The Saints on the other hand seem to be operating in the Venn diagram overlap between "working with clever schemes" and "batshit refusal to give up," with perhaps a soupcon of "flashes of unreliable inspiration" in the mix as well. Perhaps that's enough to win, at least on the day. Between the Super Bowl and Mardi Gras parades about to start up, the aftermath would be quite something.
Since I can't get back into the top ranks without an improbable final day collapse from Moo, I shall pick the Saints. Because capping a day spent talking about software and consulting billing and work-sharing models by picking the Colts to win would be the final straw.

FESSER
When you see Bobby Hebert, wearing nothing but a tastefully embroidered sash with a Brees/Bush/Payton/Vilma Rushmore tableau, jumping out of a black and gold king cake delivered by Ken Stabler, who offers you an Igloo full of sazeracs to wash down the cake, you will know my inclination in the Super Bowl.
(It's the Saints.)

GRUBBY
I think there was a deliberate ploy to confuse my understanding of the rules that cost me this year. I'll be employing my attorney* next season. (* - Crazy old lady that lives behind the Shell station.)

S2N
It's hard to pick based on hate, so I have to be rational now. Boo. Peyton has the ability to pick apart any defense, and even if Dwight Freeney doesn't play, Indy's D shows enough flashes to stop drives from turning into touchdowns.

TSW
Not because I think they're that much better than the Saints (they're not), and not because I think the sugar cream pie is better than jambalaya (it is), but because I've had it with the bandwagon Saints fans and it's only been two weeks. Regular Saints fans, sorry, I think you're swell, but this isn't your year. (Had about 59 other jokes written in there about fates, football gods, etc, but it is nearly impossible to make a joke about disappointment and New Orleans without it coming off as a Katrina joke and I'm just not ready for that yet, I don't care what the Weather Channel says.)

COTTER
Unfortunately for the Saints Defense, Peyton Manning actually uses his brain when a championship's on the line. Let's all point and laugh at Brett Favre, now.

T$
I spent a good deal of time rowing in college. Since I went to school in the south, the team didn't need to go somewhere warm for spring break, so we stayed home for practice, but would travel somewhere fun for a dual regatta against some other school. My senior year we went to New Orleans. After we were done racing, the entire team (coach included) went out to the French Quarter after we were done racing. I remember a couple of sophomores disappearing around 7 pm and showing up at the hotel about 20 minutes before the vans were due to leave for the return trip to campus, about 36 hours later. The freshmen who didn't have fake IDs spent some time trying to talk girls into coming back to the hotel with them, and only succeeding with a woman who would make Borat's wife seem thin.
My night involved accidentally ditching my then-girlfriend in favor of March Madness, getting a ride with the freshmen and their heavyset and (I'm assuming) hired gun, and making off with the keys to the school-owned van that some of us (my coach included) had taken into town from the hotel.
This doesn't impact the game. It's just my only experience with New Orleans. I remember receiving a talking-to about the importance of not ditching one's girlfriend in an unfamiliar city at night, and also about being more reliable in terms of giving said girlfriend a ride to and from the hotel. I do not remember getting laid for a while after that. But I do remember my coach thinking the situation was hysterical. So I can't say I have great memories of New Orleans. Also, they screwed over Louis Armstrong by naming the airport after him even though he didn't like the town. Is that a sufficient reason to pick the Colts? Sure. In other non-underdog rooting news, I'm also picking the team with the most golden retrievers to win the Puppy Bowl.

'BUS, A PATS FAN
Saints- Their fans would be less insufferable.

DOLLA BILL
I know the Saints are the sentimental favorites, but there's a reason they're called "sentimental," and it's the same reason the Miss Congeniality award goes to Miss Congeniality and not Miss America. The Saints are a very talented team with the potential to put up a bunch of points on the Colts, but in the end, how do you really pick against Peyton Manning in a game like this? Consider that if Brett Favre hadn't decided to revert to 2008 form at the end of the NFC title game (cue LL: "And then Brett Favre went all BRETT FAVRE!"), the Saints might not even be here to begin with. What are the chances Peyton pulls some isht like that? Probably not as good as the chances Reggie Bush tries another lateral to Ghost Blocker like he did in the '06 Rose Bowl. A Saints win would probably result in a citywide party that runs all the way into Mardi Gras, and more power to 'em if they do, but when all is said and done, "Your World Champion New Orleans Saints" just doesn't have the ring of truth to me.

HOLLY

I'm glad to be with you, Laser Rocket Arm, here at the end of all things.

Posted by Nastinchka at February 7, 2010 10:16 AM