Rhys: "I woke up this morning and my sausage was inevitable."
[Everyone loses it.]
Rhys: "I'm gonna go lay down."
Adam: "Watch out for your sausage."
Holly: "It won't do any good."
Happy Leap Day, y'all.
Still sick, still stuck in bed. Have some reading that has nothing to do with politics, and is cool as hell to boot:
I finally went through my pictures all the way back to SG today, culling for postworthy shots, and I have to say, I've got appallingly compromising pictures of an awful lot of people. And most of them will be accompanying us to (I've got nothing in the way of segues; does it show??)...
Boozin' on the Brine '04:
[It occurs to me, however, that the one creature on our roster with more testosterone than me has publicly admitted to reading Goodnight Moon to his roommate. High Seas Advisory, poppets. -Ed]
Also, you're secretly in love with Casey.
So here's what brought this on:
S________: "I don't have to worry about politicians till November anyway."
J_______: "I have no idea where to begin educating myself about all this stuff."
A____: "There's too much to get through for me to know where to start."
Nicole (girl I worked with in Nashville) and I had a lot of these conversations with our friends recently. I like what she's been doig for friends of hers who want to know more about what's going on but don't wanna read through all the newspapers every damn day. She subscribes to The Note, which highlights important political articles and sends them to your inbox every morning. She reads, picks a few, and posts the ones that are (a important, (b accessible, and/or (c funny. I'm sick in bed and have nothing better to do, so here's the good stuff from the last week. Ladies and gentlemen, Linksapolooza '04:
President Puppet:
Backing off his economic promises
Using Iraqi self-government deadlines for personal political gain
Concerned scientists - totally worth registering to read
Wow. I was going to quote this and realized I needed to link the whole ting. Dig into the first few paragraphs and wait for the attack
Governor, Lover, Killer Robot:
Finally, someone hits back
The Terminator emerges
I'm sure he's thinking of Jennifer Granholm and Madeline Albright, right? Right?
Darth Nader:
NY Times Editorial
Seattle PI Editorial
Hot damn....check out the quotes form the League of Conservation Voters
It's not just mainstream press, either
This one's my favorite
RNCon:
A university brochure says, in part, that notable New Yorkers will examine the question of "what communities can do when political leaders appropriate emotionally charged icons for their own purposes."
Street theatre, anyone?
Other:
Snoop Dogg calls Bill O'Reilly a Bitch
Quayle
Scroll Down to Frank Reply to BSA
A Funny Headline, and Bob Dole Needs A Nap
George Will is Really, Really Pissed
Colin Powell's meltdown
Courting the Veteran Vote - I don't agree with all of it, but there are some good points in there
Secretary Paige is a bastard, too, just in case you were wondering
Clark campaign obit
And for dessert we have a lovely selection of snarky aphorisms:
"I wouldn't be surprised if, in the back channels, they weren't meeting under a bridge somewhere and saying, 'Let's just get this one out of here.' " -John Zogby on Bush, Kerry, and gay marriage legislation
" `It's not who you know' - come on, it's doth protest too much," Mr. Deutsch said. "This just puts a spotlight and a megaphone on the issue. Martha Stewart would not take out a paid ad and say, `Before you buy any of my housewares, just remember I'm innocent.' It's a bizarre media strategy." -Advertising executive Donny Deutsch on Hallibuton commercials
"A Republican member of Congress was less charitable about the advertisements. "They're pitiful," said the Republican, who did not want to be identified because he did not want the president to be angry at him. "They're about as believable as a crocodile going onto the Senate floor and voting."" -Elisabeth Bumiller in NY Times
"This time, Nader's not only old news - he's resented. " -Matthew Cooper, Time.com
"I believe he is the one who can beat George Bush," Ms. Wells said. "He's got that Southern thing going for him. He will hand you your guts on a platter, and you will thank him for it before you even feel the knife." -An Edwards supporter
Many were like John Preston, 57, a geophysicist from Houston who has contributed to Dean's campaign. Preston said he still supports the former governor -- and hopes he will continue campaigning until the party holds its nominating convention. But Preston added that any Democratic nominee can count on his backing, since "I would vote for a bologna sandwich over the guy in there." -Herald Wire reports
I'm still sick, still in bed, and inform you that the link-happy post I've been cobbling together with some Nashville cohorts has been postponed again, because the first thing I saw this afternoon was this.
I don't have anything to say that can match what Scalzi said, so go read his post, and the one before it, then buy a helmet. The sky's falling.
A week ago:
"Nastinchka (10:47:56): I shouldn't read health reports. I always wind up thinking I have bird flu or some damn thing.
F______ (10:48:27) Yeah, you wanna watch out for that."
Tonight:
No, really, I have bird flu. Or something close to it. Could the SARS still be lingering from July? At any rate, Kaitlin's sick already, and Joan, in an irritating display of overachievement, has been downed by a one-two punch of strep and a sinus infection. Guess who were all drinking from the same flask Friday night at Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen? (I know you're going to ask. Don't see this movie. It's worse than you think.)
I was feeling run-down at work all evening but blamed my voice going on party damage from the 'Skull. Then that Wretch I work with somehow managed to lock my car keys and cell in a room for which we had no keys. Everyone at home was sleeping. I started walking. I got as far as The Home on Emory Valley before the State Trooper drove by and offered me a ride. There's no way I can talk about the unpleasantness of the backseats of those cars, even though I only mean in terms of leg room, without implying the unpalatable, so I'll leave it. That was supposed to be today's story. Until I woke up at 2:30 with shivers and chills and a fever that could melt glass, and, naturally, an unquenchable urge to share. I'm off for a few days anyway - well past time to Take To My Bed. I must, after all, be at my full strength for Boozing On The Brine '04, the countdown for which is down to twelve days.
Inner Monologue:
If Angelfuck even THINKS FOR ONE DAMN SECOND about eating this post...I should be keeping a graph of the number of tries it takes to upload. I'm a little bereft without my cell phone...I can still hear its soothing calypso ring. poor phone. I never loved you enough. Man, what is UP with my post titles recently? Repeat after me....you?.... oh, just say it: A Man Who Would Pun Would Fuck A Goat. A Man Who Would Pun Would Fuck A Goat. A Man Who Would Pun Would Fuck A Goat. copy it on the blackboard. Am I speaking flippantly enough for people to recognize that I'm only joking about the SARS thing and that it's just a comedy bit recycled from July? Wait, who reads this that will be offended by a SARS joke, especially after the Ferris Wheel incident? Wait...speaking? I don't have any voice left. Typing. Typing flippa....it's three in the morning, I'm shaking all over, and I'm at my laptop making good and goddamn sure everybody knows about it?? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?
Oh, that's right. I remember now. Bird flu.
This is hands-down the best idea I've ever heard. Ever. Get on it, monkeys. Link it. Get your friends involved. One of the posters to the comments board pointed out that florists in the area are getting swamped, so FTD or CitySearch might be the way to go. Make sure to ask about delivery charges. Go on, now. Show some love from our end of the continent.
P.S. UPDATE: We're taking up a collection to send a group basket to City Hall. The more money we get, the more we can send!! Message, call, or email me if you want in. Y'all are amazing. Love love.
The countdown for Spring Break goes something like this:
Also: None taken, Sparkle Princess.
And you know good and goddamn well that when I said it smacked of 'Bus and myself I meant Grant and Bergman, not Rains and Konstantin. Anyway, no way you get to be Ingrid. You can be that one drunk lady who corners Devlin at the party in Rio. Cheeky bastard. ;)
So in the midst of a sentence in the midst of a post about not making typos, I produce a glaring example. In our own defense, we did notice it almost immediately and decided to leave it up for posterity and humilty to take a swing at.
A day late, a dollar short, but here's the annual VD Comedy Gold from Pamie, who's funnier than I will ever hope to be. If you like your love humor a little darker than these, scroll to the bottom and click on years past. There are a few in there that, even by her admission, are landing her a one way ticket to Way Down Under. We laughed at all six years for a solid hour last night, for serious. Happy Hearts Day, y'all.
Cranky and drinking. I was happy and drinking until all these Loud People got here. At least I like most of them. There are more on the way that I really Do Not Care To See, Ever. I can't believe the amount of alcohol I've poured into my system isn't affecting my typing more. Also, I'm on an ergonomic keyboard. You'd think that would screw me up as well, but nothing doing. I made everyone watch Notorious. No one loves it as much as I do, though. It reminds me of 'Bus and me, if we were secret agents and nucleah hottttt.
So. Hurricane Me Me Me and I SET OUR ALARM this morning to get up, fetch a few poppets (do I call them poppets because of my urges to shake several of them like rag dolls? Maybe.), and get drunk on the sky level of the Regal parking garage. Then we went to the noon show of ROTK. Then later we found new funnies that I'll post later. (I know how you can tell I'm drunk!! I don't very my sentence structure, At All.) So, Best Valentine's Day Ever, until the tiny lovely party we were having got Invaded. Then again, they didn't get here till after midnite, so perhaps it can still count. Adrock's here too. That helps sponge up a bit of the stupid.
Reading: The Riot Act
Seen: Notorious
A big few interesting articles, from the last days/aftermath of the campaign:
War President
National Guard Nonsense
And Again here, but in understandable form
The President Looks Ridiculous, Again
See Above
Had enough right-bashing? Yeah, me neither:
More National Guard Nonsense
Obligatory 'rats deserting a sinking ship' joke
Aiight, enough with Leading By Bludgeoning Example. Boring poli-claptrap over with, at least for tonight. I'm home and booked solid till Sunday night. Quit asking me what I'm doing next. I'm not sure yet.
Also: V-Day Throwdown, Saturday night. Invitation by-God ONLY. Call or message for details.
Excuse the otherwise-oatmeal post. I don't have a lot to say right now, or rather, a lot that I can say, but I feel like I need to continue writing All The Damn Time just to keep the muscles loose, y'dig??
Well, not really. But as yet it's too early to tell whether that's due to learning the hard way that a good man can't get elected President, or the four (big) beers I downed in quick succession at the staff's drown-your-sorrows bash at the Flying Saucer last night.
I have a line in the text file I always leave open so I can quickly note things I want to post about that contains this link next to the words "fuck/no God anywhere". Subjectual irony aside, I was too busy yesterday to write more about it, but come morning I find out Lunchy just said it a whole lot better, as ever.
So I'll spend the morning cleaning up and packing out of Kaitlin's mom's place (which rocks almost as hard as Mom herself), the afternoon on the verandah at Aunt Christine's in Spring Hill, swinging and cursing, and the evening sleeping off last night. I'm s'posed to swing by HQ on my way out of town, but I don't know if that's going to happen. Not much for protracted goodbyes, most particularly those conducted while so very overhung. At any rate, I'll be home tomorrow afternoon, for a few days at least, to regroup and decide what I'm doing the rest of the semester. All y'all come out and play. See you soon.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done, and the craziest, and the most rewarding. I'm glad to be with y'all, "here at the end of all things".
Also, I know the color is, kindly, "off". Or "odd". Or "sweet tap-dancing wounded Jesus, my EYES". I am tweaking. If you are so displeased, you are invited not to read until further notice. Or, you know, ever.
Reading: Home Swell Home by Cynthia Rowley and Ilene Rosenzweig
Flicked: Lost in Translation
Current Nickname: Lemon Drop. I'll explain later.
It's zero hour, y'all.
If you still need convincing, check thse out:
Gay Marriage
National Guard Records
Cheney
The Race
Kerry's A Bastard Some More
So too is Bush, but we already knew that
ABC News' The Note (which y'all should be reading, it's good stuff) had these wouldn't-it-be great hypothetical interview questions for El Presidente:
"And then, if it's Sunday:
-- "When did you realize that your Administration's cost estimates for the Medicare prescription drug law were wildly underestimated, and how did you react to that news?"
-- "How will you ensure that voters enter the polls with no unanswered questions about prewar intelligence?"
-- "David Kay offered this blunt assessment: 'We were all wrong.' Why were we all wrong?"
-- "Let me show you an exchange you had with Diane Sawyer in an interview she conducted with you in December, and then I would like you to react."
DIANE SAWYER: But stated as a hard fact, that there were weapons of mass destruction as opposed to the possibility that he could move to acquire those weapons still --
PRESIDENT BUSH: So what's the difference?
DIANE SAWYER: Well --
PRESIDENT BUSH: The possibility that he could acquire weapons. If he were to acquire weapons, he would be the danger. That's, that's what I'm trying to explain to you. A gathering threat, after 9/11, is a threat that needed to be de - dealt with, and it was done after 12 long years of the world saying the man's a danger. And so we got rid of him and there's no doubt the world is a safer, freer place as a result of Saddam being gone.
-- "How many American troops will be in Iraq on election day in November? And why did you describe this question from Elisabeth Bumiller of the New York Times as a 'trick' question: 'Can you promise a year from now that you will have reduced the number of troops in Iraq?'"?
-- "And why did you describe this question from Stretch as a 'trick' question: 'Can you rule out the possibility of further tax cut proposals next year?'?"
-- "Besides tax cuts, what is the Bush plan for restoring manufacturing jobs to states such as Michigan?"
-- "At the end of your term, how many Americans will lack health insurance, and how does that compared to the number who lacked health insurance when you took office?"
-- "Tell us in as much detail as you recall how you spent your weekends in 1972 and 1973."
-- "Do you know who the Valerie Plame leakers are? Have you thought much about it? Will you keep your word to hold accountable those responsible for the leak, no matter how high their post?"
-- "What is the difference between your view of civil unions for same-sex couples and the views of Howard Dean and John Kerry?"
-- "Michael Powell, your chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, has announced there will be an investigation into the Super Bowl halftime show. You have said you didn't see the show -- didn't see the nudity or the other parts of the performance that raised concerns-- but you heard about what happened. Should this be a priority for the FCC? And what kind of punishment do you think would be appropriate for CBS?"
-- "A strong majority of Americans believe the federal deficit is a 'very serious' or 'somewhat serious' problem. And members of your own party are increasingly angry about your budget spending proposals and the historic deficits your Administration is posting. Economists say that your often-repeated claim to cut the deficit in half is, in fact, impossible. How do you answer those critics?"
I can't say it any better than that. It's really, really exciting right now because every poll is completely different than the one before it. No one knows what's going to happen. This is by turns exciting and crankifying, mostly exciting. I hope I'm still doing this next week. So get out there and vote, poppets. If not for your country, then for me.
I'm in Nashville, and very happy to be here. The situation is a lot nicer than the one in NH, though I still don't know where I'm sleeping tonight. I don't know when I'll get the chance to update again, but I love y'all and I think of you probably more than is strictly reasonable.
It should read SCALLYWAGGERY 2: THE WAGGENING. The first post I made tonight, that got wiped? Was almost as short as this one will be. Blurb: I survived the trip south. Leaving tomorrow for nine days in Nashville and the TN primary, in which y'all should be voting. Remaining comedic stylings from NH posted when I have a spare minute. Maybe later tonight, but we all know better. (Can y'all tell I have bird flu or some damn thing? This reads like oatmeal.)